Hello all!!
Its been a bit since my last blog again. No huge updates in the past month.
I have noticied that I tend to fixate on ideas and get almost obsessive about them. But I have been gathering even more information on becoming green.
So, we have a rain barrell that didnt get used very much but we still have the water and will use it when its time to water the garden again. And why is it illegal to use the houses grey water? I have no idea and I willl do it if I want to!.....but maybe not, i dont want to incriminate myself on the internet if the "feds" get wind of me using my own waste water.
I watched an informative program on the network "planet green" about a family that uses their reclaimed water(rain water) and stores it in big pressurized cysterns underground in their backyard. They have their hoses hooked up to it and use it for just about everything. They even have an irrigation system thats a drip line, but underground, that has virtually no evaporation. It also feeds the roots of their veggie patch directly and promotes better growth to their home grown goodies.
Another neat tid bit was that they didnt have downspouts from their gutters, they had rain chains. Big beautiful copper links that the water runs down and just looks divine in a storm. I totally want rain chains on my house!
So Ive made a list of wants that I would like to have in my "green" house. "Green" to me is all about saving money, of course, it helos the planet but I love the idea of being more self reliant and it not costing much.
My WANT list for a more efficient home:
-I want rain chains just because theyre beautiful
- i plan to make grow boxes for a better garden in the spring, we did find out that veggies will grow at our house.
-my big dream is to have solar panels and a converter for energy(big wish!!)
-when we redo the kitchen i would like recycled glass countertops, sooooo awesome!!!
-bamboo flooring would be nice, but soooo pricey! we may go with cork, but most likely the cheapest thing that i like
-a pressurized water collection system
-pavers that reduce runoff from the house to get a kickback from the water company
-new high effiency windows
-a compost barrell(the really cool one from IFA)
-and more than anything i want a biodiesel car!!!
Now, the whole thing to being "Aerial-green" is saving money. A bonus is the helping the environment. I would love to have a house thats so efficient that all it costs to run everything would be the cost of running one coffee pot. Thats the goal!!!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
old farts need to be on time out!!!
I think we should have time out for old, crochity, nasty patients in the hospital.
An old woman just as soon as I left her room gave me a COMMAND to do the exact opposite thing she wanted me to do 3 seconds after I had done the intitial "thing". She was not nice about it. And used explicatives that were not pleasant.
Who was this persons mother?! Heaven knows who! Doesnt matter because she's an old lady. After the age of 69 it no longer matters who your mother was, and being raised in a barn no longer applies.
To all these crochity folk that choose to make my life a living hell sometimes... I say "get your wrinkly butt in time out!!!" "And sit in that corner until you can be nice!"
On a lighter note. I havent been working as much lately and am much happier. The kids are happier, Jay may not be happier cuz he has to work alot more now. But all in all, things are much more pleasant on the Aerial front. Less stress, more cookie making. Less anxiety, more playing. Less money.........I now self pedi. The point is, the less I work the happier I am. And now that things are in balance and all my chakras are aligned I can be a pleasant person at work.
But I'm still for "old folk time out"!!!!.....................its better than constantly wishing them bodily harm..............see? I'm much nicer now :)
An old woman just as soon as I left her room gave me a COMMAND to do the exact opposite thing she wanted me to do 3 seconds after I had done the intitial "thing". She was not nice about it. And used explicatives that were not pleasant.
Who was this persons mother?! Heaven knows who! Doesnt matter because she's an old lady. After the age of 69 it no longer matters who your mother was, and being raised in a barn no longer applies.
To all these crochity folk that choose to make my life a living hell sometimes... I say "get your wrinkly butt in time out!!!" "And sit in that corner until you can be nice!"
On a lighter note. I havent been working as much lately and am much happier. The kids are happier, Jay may not be happier cuz he has to work alot more now. But all in all, things are much more pleasant on the Aerial front. Less stress, more cookie making. Less anxiety, more playing. Less money.........I now self pedi. The point is, the less I work the happier I am. And now that things are in balance and all my chakras are aligned I can be a pleasant person at work.
But I'm still for "old folk time out"!!!!.....................its better than constantly wishing them bodily harm..............see? I'm much nicer now :)
i miss blogging!!!
Hello to everyone that reads my humble blog. The computer has decided to work today....thought I should write something while i have the luxury of being able to get into blogger.
Nothing has happened in the past 6-8 weeks that I havent posted. Nothing huge anyway.
Kelty has decided to take a couple steps unassisted. Yay!!! And shes getting her hair back!!
My baby boy Gage went to kindergarten last month.Sigh. He's growing sooo fast! He even lost his first tooth, a middle front one on the bottom...eeee sooo cute!!!
My darling Jay got a promotion. He is going to be integrating himself into the design department of his company. I guess he'll be working with auto-cad and some other design program to make the little circuit boards they manufacture. YAY GO JAY!! He also shaved his beard completely off! Wow, what a shocker that was. I couldnt stop staring at him. Seriously, I couldnt stop staring at him. It wasnt a good stare(although he does look good with a naked face). It was like a creepy pervert stare. I couldnt help myself. I do LOVE LOVE LOVE the stubble/construction man effect. For real, it was like a peeping tom stare. I felt like peering over the back of the couch to look at this new naked face. anywho......
I am way excited for the scrapbooking expo tomorrow. Wish I had money to buy lots of things there. I think I'm going to look around tomorrow for ideas to sponge off of and make my own cute things to sell and make lots of money like my mom. That was a huge run-on sentence wasnt it. So my crafty bone was broken for a long time. In fact, unrepairable. I'm on the mend though, gettin' craftier.
Thats it for now. I promise to post more often.
Nothing has happened in the past 6-8 weeks that I havent posted. Nothing huge anyway.
Kelty has decided to take a couple steps unassisted. Yay!!! And shes getting her hair back!!
My baby boy Gage went to kindergarten last month.Sigh. He's growing sooo fast! He even lost his first tooth, a middle front one on the bottom...eeee sooo cute!!!
My darling Jay got a promotion. He is going to be integrating himself into the design department of his company. I guess he'll be working with auto-cad and some other design program to make the little circuit boards they manufacture. YAY GO JAY!! He also shaved his beard completely off! Wow, what a shocker that was. I couldnt stop staring at him. Seriously, I couldnt stop staring at him. It wasnt a good stare(although he does look good with a naked face). It was like a creepy pervert stare. I couldnt help myself. I do LOVE LOVE LOVE the stubble/construction man effect. For real, it was like a peeping tom stare. I felt like peering over the back of the couch to look at this new naked face. anywho......
I am way excited for the scrapbooking expo tomorrow. Wish I had money to buy lots of things there. I think I'm going to look around tomorrow for ideas to sponge off of and make my own cute things to sell and make lots of money like my mom. That was a huge run-on sentence wasnt it. So my crafty bone was broken for a long time. In fact, unrepairable. I'm on the mend though, gettin' craftier.
Thats it for now. I promise to post more often.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Life of a college mommy
I plan on taking 12 credits or more a semester without skipping summer for the next 3 years. Crazy?....Yes!
I've wasted too much time. Thanks to the hubbs(jay) I have found an answer. I'm not going to say what my major is because I have changed it so many times I look like a fool. No more wishy washy. No more back and forth.
Here I come! Salt Lake Community College watchout! I am actually going to graduate from your institution and go on to Weber State! Let it be known! I am going to get this done if it kills me! And it most likely will after 2 of the 5 semesters of self torture.
So, this is what its like to be a college mommy.... I am lucky Gage is in school now(one of my saving graces). Because I can go to school while he goes to school. Although that puts me in a little bit of a bind with time restraints.
Childcare: Kelty is going to the daycare while I go to class and Gage is at school. Hope she'll be ok there. She has to be. Plain and simple. I cant coddle my children to the point of being unsocialized. Its hard for me to leave the kids with anyone other than my immediate family. I guess I'm crazy. Then theres the point of paying for it. Still have to have a job to pay for all of this. I'm putting Kelty in the childcare because it will be good for her to be around kids so she can see where she's lacking and behind. Some kind of "peer motivation" thing for brain injured toddlers to learn. Plus, my mom gives me crap when she has watch them more than twice a week. I totally get that. I dont want to burden anyone.
Courses: Honestly, these particular classes are interesting for me so they usually wont be hard. Whenever I'm interested in something it doesnt seem like so much work to learn. Just alot of time. So, go to school from 9am to 1pm. Not that long, but have to keep in mind Kelty and every hour she's in childcare its costing precious moolah! And I dont want her to be reared by daycare teachers. Go to school, go home, study. LOTS of time spent away from the children.
Job: have to have a job to pay for childcare so i can go to school. Have to have a job to pay for books. Have to stay employed to pay for all of this tuition. Hope I can get some good financial aid!
Grades: have to get good grades to get my rich aunts money. She has a deal with the college students that if we can go 12 credits or more and stay above a 2.5 gpa she'll give us $300 a semester. That would help out ALOT!
Home: study. Try to be a mother and study. Do more for Jay so he can continue to work like a dog to support my happiness. Study. Change diaper. Study. Learn letters with Gage and ......study. Find time to sleep because I will continue to work graveyards while doing all of this. And study some more.
Its only going to be 3 days a week so it really wont be that bad. Just wish I could have been smarter and went to college when I was supposed to.
I've wasted too much time. Thanks to the hubbs(jay) I have found an answer. I'm not going to say what my major is because I have changed it so many times I look like a fool. No more wishy washy. No more back and forth.
Here I come! Salt Lake Community College watchout! I am actually going to graduate from your institution and go on to Weber State! Let it be known! I am going to get this done if it kills me! And it most likely will after 2 of the 5 semesters of self torture.
So, this is what its like to be a college mommy.... I am lucky Gage is in school now(one of my saving graces). Because I can go to school while he goes to school. Although that puts me in a little bit of a bind with time restraints.
Childcare: Kelty is going to the daycare while I go to class and Gage is at school. Hope she'll be ok there. She has to be. Plain and simple. I cant coddle my children to the point of being unsocialized. Its hard for me to leave the kids with anyone other than my immediate family. I guess I'm crazy. Then theres the point of paying for it. Still have to have a job to pay for all of this. I'm putting Kelty in the childcare because it will be good for her to be around kids so she can see where she's lacking and behind. Some kind of "peer motivation" thing for brain injured toddlers to learn. Plus, my mom gives me crap when she has watch them more than twice a week. I totally get that. I dont want to burden anyone.
Courses: Honestly, these particular classes are interesting for me so they usually wont be hard. Whenever I'm interested in something it doesnt seem like so much work to learn. Just alot of time. So, go to school from 9am to 1pm. Not that long, but have to keep in mind Kelty and every hour she's in childcare its costing precious moolah! And I dont want her to be reared by daycare teachers. Go to school, go home, study. LOTS of time spent away from the children.
Job: have to have a job to pay for childcare so i can go to school. Have to have a job to pay for books. Have to stay employed to pay for all of this tuition. Hope I can get some good financial aid!
Grades: have to get good grades to get my rich aunts money. She has a deal with the college students that if we can go 12 credits or more and stay above a 2.5 gpa she'll give us $300 a semester. That would help out ALOT!
Home: study. Try to be a mother and study. Do more for Jay so he can continue to work like a dog to support my happiness. Study. Change diaper. Study. Learn letters with Gage and ......study. Find time to sleep because I will continue to work graveyards while doing all of this. And study some more.
Its only going to be 3 days a week so it really wont be that bad. Just wish I could have been smarter and went to college when I was supposed to.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
only thin layer of spandex is between me and death!!!
phobia confession time!!!!
I have a major phobia of......dun dun dun..........betcha cant guess what it is.............the suspense grows........dun dun......dun dun........dun dun(jaws theme).......its..............its..................no it couldnt be.............its.....................
WATER!!!!!
Now, pools are ok. Its lakes, rivers, and oceans that are a problem. I made Jay hold onto my hand when we went snorkeling in Hawaii so I wouldnt float away...and get swept up by the current and dragged out to sea and DIE!!
Lakes are just creepy! With that blackish-green water and no way to tell exactly how deep it is. Not to mention lake monsters. Hello! Nessy could be real!
Rivers are just death waiting to happen! Winding channels of water that could drag you to your death at any second with their white water. How do you know when your floating down a river with a life jacket pulled up over your chin('cause they move!!!) when your going to plunge off a 100 foot water fall into sharp jagged rocks? Huh? how are you supposed to know?
Which brings me to where my sister went to youth conference. She went to Moab and went river rafting. She loved it!!! Absolutely loved it! I think she has a crush on the boat man named Kyler.
Anywho, Ashley cant swim! And she went anyway. You frickin crazy person! They DID get knocked out of the boat and into a rapid. Just the word RAPID sounds scary. Youre supposed to point your feet down river and lay back and you will apparently be guided to safety by some magic water fairies. BS!!! If I was going to fall out of a boat whilst tossing around in dangerous water I'm not going to remember to point my pretty little feet down stream and lay back!!! I am going to be sucking water into my lungs while trying to spew out blood curtling screams for the water fairies to save me! While tossing and flaling my arms about my life jacket will slip over my head and I will be a sitting duck.
I dont like the idea of having a thin layer of spandex-poly blend the only thing in between me and death. No amount of foam in a jacket will save my big butt! Especially if I am panicing.
Ya wanna know what else could happen while river rafting that scares the poop out of me? What if I'm doing really good and paddling as hard as I can and some idiot knocks me in the head with his paddle and I fly out into the water with a high rate of velocity(because we're going through a rapid and tossing the boat in many wild directions) and crack my head on one of those jagged rocks jutting out from the river bed? What happens then? What will happen when I lose consciousness from a closed brain injury and suck water in as my last reflex? Death!
I know your sayin' Jay or some big man like the boat guide will save you. Nope, they wont. They wont be able to find me because my lifeless drowning body will be tossing around in water where it never should have been. Plus, I dont think Jay would be able to swim hard enough to even get us to shore. No one is strong enough to swim through rough currents like those. Not even Heman-Jay. I know he would try his hardest and never give up on finding my water logged body and then he would get tired and bang his head on a rock and drown too. Then my children would be orphans. ORPHANS!!!
So Ashley survived. She even thought that was fun!....psycho. Everyone kept telling me that I would love it. But I've got my eye on them because they have to be losing their marbles to even think I would love such a thing. Nope. Spandex has never saved me. I dont trust it. Spandex is the devil by the way. It always makes me look cheesy(like cottage cheese). Why would I trust something made from the devils cloth itself to save my precious life? Nope. Spendex equals death!.........and bonking your head on rocks.
I have a major phobia of......dun dun dun..........betcha cant guess what it is.............the suspense grows........dun dun......dun dun........dun dun(jaws theme).......its..............its..................no it couldnt be.............its.....................
WATER!!!!!
Now, pools are ok. Its lakes, rivers, and oceans that are a problem. I made Jay hold onto my hand when we went snorkeling in Hawaii so I wouldnt float away...and get swept up by the current and dragged out to sea and DIE!!
Lakes are just creepy! With that blackish-green water and no way to tell exactly how deep it is. Not to mention lake monsters. Hello! Nessy could be real!
Rivers are just death waiting to happen! Winding channels of water that could drag you to your death at any second with their white water. How do you know when your floating down a river with a life jacket pulled up over your chin('cause they move!!!) when your going to plunge off a 100 foot water fall into sharp jagged rocks? Huh? how are you supposed to know?
Which brings me to where my sister went to youth conference. She went to Moab and went river rafting. She loved it!!! Absolutely loved it! I think she has a crush on the boat man named Kyler.
Anywho, Ashley cant swim! And she went anyway. You frickin crazy person! They DID get knocked out of the boat and into a rapid. Just the word RAPID sounds scary. Youre supposed to point your feet down river and lay back and you will apparently be guided to safety by some magic water fairies. BS!!! If I was going to fall out of a boat whilst tossing around in dangerous water I'm not going to remember to point my pretty little feet down stream and lay back!!! I am going to be sucking water into my lungs while trying to spew out blood curtling screams for the water fairies to save me! While tossing and flaling my arms about my life jacket will slip over my head and I will be a sitting duck.
I dont like the idea of having a thin layer of spandex-poly blend the only thing in between me and death. No amount of foam in a jacket will save my big butt! Especially if I am panicing.
Ya wanna know what else could happen while river rafting that scares the poop out of me? What if I'm doing really good and paddling as hard as I can and some idiot knocks me in the head with his paddle and I fly out into the water with a high rate of velocity(because we're going through a rapid and tossing the boat in many wild directions) and crack my head on one of those jagged rocks jutting out from the river bed? What happens then? What will happen when I lose consciousness from a closed brain injury and suck water in as my last reflex? Death!
I know your sayin' Jay or some big man like the boat guide will save you. Nope, they wont. They wont be able to find me because my lifeless drowning body will be tossing around in water where it never should have been. Plus, I dont think Jay would be able to swim hard enough to even get us to shore. No one is strong enough to swim through rough currents like those. Not even Heman-Jay. I know he would try his hardest and never give up on finding my water logged body and then he would get tired and bang his head on a rock and drown too. Then my children would be orphans. ORPHANS!!!
So Ashley survived. She even thought that was fun!....psycho. Everyone kept telling me that I would love it. But I've got my eye on them because they have to be losing their marbles to even think I would love such a thing. Nope. Spandex has never saved me. I dont trust it. Spandex is the devil by the way. It always makes me look cheesy(like cottage cheese). Why would I trust something made from the devils cloth itself to save my precious life? Nope. Spendex equals death!.........and bonking your head on rocks.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
weekend update!!!.......no, not like snl
Well lets see.......
What did I do the past week? I did a bunch of nothing for the most part.
-Went to moms because the kids and I always go to moms. We practically live there.
-found a killer deal on a patio set at Walmart!!! Woot! also did a bit of gardening
-Gage had a sleepover at grandma's where he went to a movie!
-went shopping for crafty things with mom
-waited for Ash to get home from chaperoning youth conference...I was excited to hear if she had fun.....I'm so lame
-picked cherries at moms
-went to church on fathers day and then ate some Pozole(mexican soup)
-did nothing yesterday....made jay rip the vanity out of the hall bathroom, we are now in demo mode! Yaaaargggghhhh! Lets rip those walls down!!!
As you can see, my friends, I'm pretty borring and lame. Add yelling at Gage to not pee on the toilet seat,changing diapers,doing baby excercise to get keltys legs strong, and the occassional out to eat and there you have it. My life.
Its actually pretty fun....to me. Who knew? Kids and diapers are fun? You betcha.
There is a point to all of this. I never thought I would ever be in this position. I always hated babysitting and getting my hands dirty. Now I'm lucky if I can find a clean shirt in the morning. I was always the girl that wanted to have a career and be successful with MAYBE 2 children. I wanted to live in the city and be "uptown".
I digress. I love not ever being clean. Kids are very dirty creatures! And I have a slow pace of life that I enjoy. Raising "creatures" (my nickname for the kids) is ever so rewarding! Now I understand why my mother was content just watching me and Ash do something. Its because Im tired.......and because these kids are amazing little things. Who knew living almost the complete opposite of my 17 year old idea of life would be so awesome.
Mommy-ness is the epitome of content.
What did I do the past week? I did a bunch of nothing for the most part.
-Went to moms because the kids and I always go to moms. We practically live there.
-found a killer deal on a patio set at Walmart!!! Woot! also did a bit of gardening
-Gage had a sleepover at grandma's where he went to a movie!
-went shopping for crafty things with mom
-waited for Ash to get home from chaperoning youth conference...I was excited to hear if she had fun.....I'm so lame
-picked cherries at moms
-went to church on fathers day and then ate some Pozole(mexican soup)
-did nothing yesterday....made jay rip the vanity out of the hall bathroom, we are now in demo mode! Yaaaargggghhhh! Lets rip those walls down!!!
As you can see, my friends, I'm pretty borring and lame. Add yelling at Gage to not pee on the toilet seat,changing diapers,doing baby excercise to get keltys legs strong, and the occassional out to eat and there you have it. My life.
Its actually pretty fun....to me. Who knew? Kids and diapers are fun? You betcha.
There is a point to all of this. I never thought I would ever be in this position. I always hated babysitting and getting my hands dirty. Now I'm lucky if I can find a clean shirt in the morning. I was always the girl that wanted to have a career and be successful with MAYBE 2 children. I wanted to live in the city and be "uptown".
I digress. I love not ever being clean. Kids are very dirty creatures! And I have a slow pace of life that I enjoy. Raising "creatures" (my nickname for the kids) is ever so rewarding! Now I understand why my mother was content just watching me and Ash do something. Its because Im tired.......and because these kids are amazing little things. Who knew living almost the complete opposite of my 17 year old idea of life would be so awesome.
Mommy-ness is the epitome of content.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
the mommy-ness.......not the hotness
Hello blog groupies!!!
I had an experience the other day with Jay. I have started to notice that my appearance is meaning less and less now-a-days. Not my idea of being skinny 'cause that will always be in the forefront of my mind, but my clothes. They just dont mean any much as they did a while ago.
I asked Jay how I looked because I was feeling soooooo FAT!!! I had a new shirt on that was a little tighter than usual and I was uncomfortable. I thought I looked "icky".
This is how it went:
me- "Do I look ok?"
Jay- "you look fine"
me- "have you noticed that I'm looking more and more like a mormon mommy lately?"
Jay- "Yup.....(long pause) I think you pull it off well."
me- "really?"
Jay- "yeah I like it."
me- "hmmm"...."ok"
Was that a compliment? Ok, awesome. Jay likes what I'm becoming. Wow! A compliment on my appearance. Those are few and far between. Other than the frequent "you look fine".
Wait a second!.............am I becoming soccer mom with the cardigan tied around her waist and the calvin klein jeans? Frick no!!! I did contemplate buying a minivan at one point but bought a huge SUV thats sittin' on 22's!!! Booyaaa!
I guess I have succumbed to the mommy-ness...............but I like it!!
I'm doing mommy-ness with a spin!!
I had an experience the other day with Jay. I have started to notice that my appearance is meaning less and less now-a-days. Not my idea of being skinny 'cause that will always be in the forefront of my mind, but my clothes. They just dont mean any much as they did a while ago.
I asked Jay how I looked because I was feeling soooooo FAT!!! I had a new shirt on that was a little tighter than usual and I was uncomfortable. I thought I looked "icky".
This is how it went:
me- "Do I look ok?"
Jay- "you look fine"
me- "have you noticed that I'm looking more and more like a mormon mommy lately?"
Jay- "Yup.....(long pause) I think you pull it off well."
me- "really?"
Jay- "yeah I like it."
me- "hmmm"...."ok"
Was that a compliment? Ok, awesome. Jay likes what I'm becoming. Wow! A compliment on my appearance. Those are few and far between. Other than the frequent "you look fine".
Wait a second!.............am I becoming soccer mom with the cardigan tied around her waist and the calvin klein jeans? Frick no!!! I did contemplate buying a minivan at one point but bought a huge SUV thats sittin' on 22's!!! Booyaaa!
I guess I have succumbed to the mommy-ness...............but I like it!!
I'm doing mommy-ness with a spin!!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I am lame.....according to teenagers.....whats wrong with a rain barrell???
I think I'm really awesome. This is another voluntary simplicity thing. Since its been raining so much lately I thought I would get a rain barrell to catch water, to water my plants with.
I was so excited that its been raining so much lately that I would be able to water my plants with "free" water. Plants dont need clean water like people do. Rain will do.....unless its acid rain....
My sister is like a teenager and she thinks I'm lame for being excited about getting a rain barrell. Well..... I. Am. Awesome.....case in point.
Whats wrong with having a rain barrell? No ones going to use the rain. Its "free" water falling from the sky. Its not going to hurt anything if I take a little bit of rain to save for an un-rainy day. The plants will love it! I am quite sure my plants are going to love the un-chlorinated/treated culinary water from the sky. What plant wouldnt? If I were a plant I would rejoice with my stalks raised to the heavens for the "natural" water my gardener had saved for me from the previous rain storms. I would then bear gigantic fruit in thanks for saving the "free" water for me.
See..... a rain barrell is a good thing. Ok enough with the silly. A rain barrell is actually an old idea that the "green people" use frequently. Alot of people use rain for their crops. There are real rain barrell devices that you can buy online and in some "granola"- type stores.
I was so excited for the hideous(I hate driving in the rain!!!)rain storm today that I made Jay get a toy tub from the garage so we could catch the rain as it was coming off the roof. Can you believe that we got 20 gallons of water in about an hour and a half just from the runoff from our roof?!!! Yipee!!! I will be able to water my veggie patch for quite a while for freeeeeee!
I was so excited that its been raining so much lately that I would be able to water my plants with "free" water. Plants dont need clean water like people do. Rain will do.....unless its acid rain....
My sister is like a teenager and she thinks I'm lame for being excited about getting a rain barrell. Well..... I. Am. Awesome.....case in point.
Whats wrong with having a rain barrell? No ones going to use the rain. Its "free" water falling from the sky. Its not going to hurt anything if I take a little bit of rain to save for an un-rainy day. The plants will love it! I am quite sure my plants are going to love the un-chlorinated/treated culinary water from the sky. What plant wouldnt? If I were a plant I would rejoice with my stalks raised to the heavens for the "natural" water my gardener had saved for me from the previous rain storms. I would then bear gigantic fruit in thanks for saving the "free" water for me.
See..... a rain barrell is a good thing. Ok enough with the silly. A rain barrell is actually an old idea that the "green people" use frequently. Alot of people use rain for their crops. There are real rain barrell devices that you can buy online and in some "granola"- type stores.
I was so excited for the hideous(I hate driving in the rain!!!)rain storm today that I made Jay get a toy tub from the garage so we could catch the rain as it was coming off the roof. Can you believe that we got 20 gallons of water in about an hour and a half just from the runoff from our roof?!!! Yipee!!! I will be able to water my veggie patch for quite a while for freeeeeee!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
More on becoming simpler....downshifting
So I'm thinking the next few posts are going to be about me becoming simpler and "downshifting" my life.
Downshifting is making me happy! I am immensely happier since I havent been at work alot lately. I've had my IUD taken out so I dont have a powerful currant of hormones running through my system constantly and its improved my quality of life. Also being more of a domestic goddess has been something I've wanted to do for a long time.
So I know that the food budget is where we need to cut down alot. As Ive said in the previous blog, fast food will be tapering out of our life. It will NEVER be cut out completely because I just cant do that. I Love hamburgers too much!
Here is where we get personal! I am ashamed to say that we have spent as much as $60 a day on our out to eat escapades. And that large amount has happened quite frequently in our household. But the normal amount for everyday food is about $30. That would make about $150 a week on crap! This will not be going on for much longer!
Clipping coupons will also save us money on our new food budget.
Ive thought that I would donate plasma for a while now. You get $40 a pop when you donate and you can donate twice a week. Thats $80 a week which will make $320 a month extra income. Who doesnt like extra income?! Plus its helping people.
I'm also going to sell our extra washer and dryer....we also have an extra fridge. Thats a little bit of extra money I hope.
But downshifting is the key. Downshifting to me is all about not working outside the home as much anymore. It will benefit our family in a huge way. But finding ways to make extra money and save money is quickly becoming a new hobby.
Downshifting is making me happy! I am immensely happier since I havent been at work alot lately. I've had my IUD taken out so I dont have a powerful currant of hormones running through my system constantly and its improved my quality of life. Also being more of a domestic goddess has been something I've wanted to do for a long time.
So I know that the food budget is where we need to cut down alot. As Ive said in the previous blog, fast food will be tapering out of our life. It will NEVER be cut out completely because I just cant do that. I Love hamburgers too much!
Here is where we get personal! I am ashamed to say that we have spent as much as $60 a day on our out to eat escapades. And that large amount has happened quite frequently in our household. But the normal amount for everyday food is about $30. That would make about $150 a week on crap! This will not be going on for much longer!
Clipping coupons will also save us money on our new food budget.
Ive thought that I would donate plasma for a while now. You get $40 a pop when you donate and you can donate twice a week. Thats $80 a week which will make $320 a month extra income. Who doesnt like extra income?! Plus its helping people.
I'm also going to sell our extra washer and dryer....we also have an extra fridge. Thats a little bit of extra money I hope.
But downshifting is the key. Downshifting to me is all about not working outside the home as much anymore. It will benefit our family in a huge way. But finding ways to make extra money and save money is quickly becoming a new hobby.
voluntary simplicity/provident living
I have found a wonderful thing! Its voluntary simplicity! Its so wonderful because you can be as simple as you like or just change a couple of things to simplify your life.
I had to cut down my shifts at work for a number of reasons, they include:
-not being as involved as I would like with raising MY children
-cutting down my stress level
-not being a beast at any given moment
-I really hated missing out on everything
-making it easier for Jay to work at his hospitals
-and taking time out to work on making our house a home
So this left us in a bit of a pickle. For one reason or another my boss conveniently forgot that he promised me certain shifts(and for those of you who I work with, they were fair. I had my mandatory weekends just like everyone else. I just didnt think it was fair that I had to work every weekend when some didnt have to work any.) And he cut me down to 1 shift a week.
The 1 shift a week thing isnt going to pay the bills.....but I'm happier. So much happier that I have been trying to find ways to not have to work at all.
Quitting is not an option until our car is payed off. So we've been finding ways to make money to pay the car payment without me working. Thats not going so good but we have made some interesting changes to our budget which will hopefully save us alot of money. And it all comes down to voluntary simplicity.
Did you know that I can make a loaf of bread for around 10 cents?! Neither did I. The food budget is the biggest thing for us. By not eating out we saved $300 a week! And a welcome side effect is MORE MONEY and losing weight. The food thing is going to change ALOT!! How are we going to do it you ask.....
-We planted a veggie garden. It cost about $30 for us to put everything in. I could waste that much produce in 1 week!
-No more fast food!.....everyday........ once a week is good
-I figured that my fave meal costs around $5 to make and it lasts for 2 days! $2.50 for dinner!!(its a noodle goulash with tomato juice a little ground hamburger and spices)
-making wiser dinner choices and eating cheaper...eating cheaper is a whole different blog
I can think of a whole slew of ways to be more provident providers and chose a way of simpler living....its mainly saving money to me and being a little more self sufficient. Here are my ideas:
-I have to water my garden, so I am getting a rain barrell to collect rainwater and water everything with that when we have it. So that will cut down on the water bill whenever we get rain.
-make a conscious effort to not waste electricity. I am going to pretend we dont have an air conditioner....never had one until I was a teenager anyway and we survived
-try not to buy wants and impulse items at the store
-use coupons
-when we need a treat we'll have to make something, this I hope, will promote better family time and not spending as much money. I can make a cake or brownies for $2 instead of buying Gage a treat that would cost almost that much anyway. This way the whole family can have some!
-I am learning to sew. Kelty will have some hand sewn outfits from me. She's growing like a weed! Plus, its a good skill to have.
-De-junk my house and have a yard sale! I know some of you would love my junk!
- I'm going to try to make as much as I can at home. Instead of simply going and buying something we're going to make it! I made Jays b-days decorations instead of buying some.
If you guys have any ideas let me know!!
I had to cut down my shifts at work for a number of reasons, they include:
-not being as involved as I would like with raising MY children
-cutting down my stress level
-not being a beast at any given moment
-I really hated missing out on everything
-making it easier for Jay to work at his hospitals
-and taking time out to work on making our house a home
So this left us in a bit of a pickle. For one reason or another my boss conveniently forgot that he promised me certain shifts(and for those of you who I work with, they were fair. I had my mandatory weekends just like everyone else. I just didnt think it was fair that I had to work every weekend when some didnt have to work any.) And he cut me down to 1 shift a week.
The 1 shift a week thing isnt going to pay the bills.....but I'm happier. So much happier that I have been trying to find ways to not have to work at all.
Quitting is not an option until our car is payed off. So we've been finding ways to make money to pay the car payment without me working. Thats not going so good but we have made some interesting changes to our budget which will hopefully save us alot of money. And it all comes down to voluntary simplicity.
Did you know that I can make a loaf of bread for around 10 cents?! Neither did I. The food budget is the biggest thing for us. By not eating out we saved $300 a week! And a welcome side effect is MORE MONEY and losing weight. The food thing is going to change ALOT!! How are we going to do it you ask.....
-We planted a veggie garden. It cost about $30 for us to put everything in. I could waste that much produce in 1 week!
-No more fast food!.....everyday........ once a week is good
-I figured that my fave meal costs around $5 to make and it lasts for 2 days! $2.50 for dinner!!(its a noodle goulash with tomato juice a little ground hamburger and spices)
-making wiser dinner choices and eating cheaper...eating cheaper is a whole different blog
I can think of a whole slew of ways to be more provident providers and chose a way of simpler living....its mainly saving money to me and being a little more self sufficient. Here are my ideas:
-I have to water my garden, so I am getting a rain barrell to collect rainwater and water everything with that when we have it. So that will cut down on the water bill whenever we get rain.
-make a conscious effort to not waste electricity. I am going to pretend we dont have an air conditioner....never had one until I was a teenager anyway and we survived
-try not to buy wants and impulse items at the store
-use coupons
-when we need a treat we'll have to make something, this I hope, will promote better family time and not spending as much money. I can make a cake or brownies for $2 instead of buying Gage a treat that would cost almost that much anyway. This way the whole family can have some!
-I am learning to sew. Kelty will have some hand sewn outfits from me. She's growing like a weed! Plus, its a good skill to have.
-De-junk my house and have a yard sale! I know some of you would love my junk!
- I'm going to try to make as much as I can at home. Instead of simply going and buying something we're going to make it! I made Jays b-days decorations instead of buying some.
If you guys have any ideas let me know!!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
I retract my previous blog
I wrote a blog about how i was mad about my work schedule and wrote some mean things I wish i couldve said to my boss.
i retract my previous blog.
it was very unbecoming of me.
i retract my previous blog.
it was very unbecoming of me.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
1 to 10
If you read this blog I challenge you to do this on yours. What to do is count 1 -10 and name random things about you. You can pick any list of favorites that you want to list.#1 you name 1 item, #2 you name 2 things, # 3 you name 3 items, and so forth.
1. favorite ice cream at Leatherby's---- Black and Tan(with all toasted almond ice cream)
2. favorite colors---- pink and red
3. most annoying things------people missing their belt loops, tripping up the stairs, and the dog
4. favorite songs----- Brick by Ben folds five, Shenandoah, Eternity is You from the My turn on earth sound track, That When In Rome song
5. fave places ive been to----Hawaii, Las Vegas, Mexico, California, Florida(Disney world)
6. my stupid human tricks are----- making a clover with my tongue, wiggling my pinky toe independently from the rest, showing people my pinkies are crooked, doing the wave with my tongue(I must have excellent tongue control), writing upside down and backwards, and the flying squirell.
7. I collect------ lamps, shoes,purses,killer whale stuff, cookie jars, clothes, magnets
8. My fave perfumes are---- Aura, Body by Victoria, Angels Heavenly, Angels Divine, Angels Halo, Very Sexy, Pure Seduction, Light Blue
9. Favorite things about my husband and kids---jays laugh, keltys laugh, gages laugh, jays "I love you" look, jays thighs, keltys round head, gages beautiful eyes and smile, gages witty comments, kelty saying new words
10. Plants I have in my garden---- wild roses, queen pink roses, allysium, roma tomatoes, yellow onion, red bell pepper, green bell pepper, strawberries, cilantro, cabbage.
its your turn!!
1. favorite ice cream at Leatherby's---- Black and Tan(with all toasted almond ice cream)
2. favorite colors---- pink and red
3. most annoying things------people missing their belt loops, tripping up the stairs, and the dog
4. favorite songs----- Brick by Ben folds five, Shenandoah, Eternity is You from the My turn on earth sound track, That When In Rome song
5. fave places ive been to----Hawaii, Las Vegas, Mexico, California, Florida(Disney world)
6. my stupid human tricks are----- making a clover with my tongue, wiggling my pinky toe independently from the rest, showing people my pinkies are crooked, doing the wave with my tongue(I must have excellent tongue control), writing upside down and backwards, and the flying squirell.
7. I collect------ lamps, shoes,purses,killer whale stuff, cookie jars, clothes, magnets
8. My fave perfumes are---- Aura, Body by Victoria, Angels Heavenly, Angels Divine, Angels Halo, Very Sexy, Pure Seduction, Light Blue
9. Favorite things about my husband and kids---jays laugh, keltys laugh, gages laugh, jays "I love you" look, jays thighs, keltys round head, gages beautiful eyes and smile, gages witty comments, kelty saying new words
10. Plants I have in my garden---- wild roses, queen pink roses, allysium, roma tomatoes, yellow onion, red bell pepper, green bell pepper, strawberries, cilantro, cabbage.
its your turn!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
vegas vegas vegas
Hello loyal readers! I would just like to say that I love all of you!
Last weekend we went to Las Vegas for a little bit of a vacay. It was nice to not have to worry about anything for just a few days. Jay and I went down with his family...theyre all adults anyway....we seem to be the only ones breeding......just sayin'.
It was soooo awesome to see his brother Jeromie and his wife Corina. Theyre the cool type with tattoos and motorcycles(I am soooo jealous). They dont have any kids but they have dogs. Everyone calls them the grandpups. Cute little things, and rambuncious from the sounds of it. Love them and wish we could spend more time getting to know them better but they live in Phoenix, where I would most deffinately melt. People like me dont do well in the sun. Sure do love them though. Now I can see why Jay idolized his cool older brother. Jeromie, if you read this, you are so pollite!!! Loved it! And Corina, when I grow up and get a tattoo I want a sexy lady like yours! What sweethearts you both are!
Tom and Amber came down with us along with Jan and Ted, Jays mom and step dad. Theyre all such cute and lovely people. Tom and Amber are soon becoming our best "couple friends". Good thing Tom and Jay are brothers so they cant get rid of us.HA HA HA!!!(evil man laugh)
We ended up doing all sorts of fun things. Hit alot of the Casinos on the strip and saw alot of fun things. The best part for me was just being able to be with everyone. Although it did seem like we spent alot of time just trying to get somewhere.
The roller coaster at the New York New York is fantastic. I honestly was worried about my huge caboose fitting into the seat but no emberassing mishaps happened and my rear fit snugly where it should have.
The hotel was super awesome!!! They had actual sand in the bottom of the shallow end of the pool! Freaking sweet! It also only went to 5 feet so I was able to go in the "deep" end!!! YAY!!!
We went to the BLue Man Group show. How cool are they? VERY! It was a really good show with no smut. Which is running rampant in Vegas! It was soooo worth the money!
We did alot of other things. Like walk around everywhere. I ate sushi and alot of other exotics! I did notice that Jay had some creme broulie at a champaigne brunch at Treasure Island when we went to the buffet. It was sooo swanky!
A romantic time in the hot tub was spent after everyone went to sleep on Sunday. Its so nice to be able to connect with your spouse after all this time spent working and just seeing each other in passing. It seems never to be enough. Even the car ride was nice with Jay. I ended up being sick almost the whole way back. It was icky, but we made it.
I wish I could be on permanent vacation!
Last weekend we went to Las Vegas for a little bit of a vacay. It was nice to not have to worry about anything for just a few days. Jay and I went down with his family...theyre all adults anyway....we seem to be the only ones breeding......just sayin'.
It was soooo awesome to see his brother Jeromie and his wife Corina. Theyre the cool type with tattoos and motorcycles(I am soooo jealous). They dont have any kids but they have dogs. Everyone calls them the grandpups. Cute little things, and rambuncious from the sounds of it. Love them and wish we could spend more time getting to know them better but they live in Phoenix, where I would most deffinately melt. People like me dont do well in the sun. Sure do love them though. Now I can see why Jay idolized his cool older brother. Jeromie, if you read this, you are so pollite!!! Loved it! And Corina, when I grow up and get a tattoo I want a sexy lady like yours! What sweethearts you both are!
Tom and Amber came down with us along with Jan and Ted, Jays mom and step dad. Theyre all such cute and lovely people. Tom and Amber are soon becoming our best "couple friends". Good thing Tom and Jay are brothers so they cant get rid of us.HA HA HA!!!(evil man laugh)
We ended up doing all sorts of fun things. Hit alot of the Casinos on the strip and saw alot of fun things. The best part for me was just being able to be with everyone. Although it did seem like we spent alot of time just trying to get somewhere.
The roller coaster at the New York New York is fantastic. I honestly was worried about my huge caboose fitting into the seat but no emberassing mishaps happened and my rear fit snugly where it should have.
The hotel was super awesome!!! They had actual sand in the bottom of the shallow end of the pool! Freaking sweet! It also only went to 5 feet so I was able to go in the "deep" end!!! YAY!!!
We went to the BLue Man Group show. How cool are they? VERY! It was a really good show with no smut. Which is running rampant in Vegas! It was soooo worth the money!
We did alot of other things. Like walk around everywhere. I ate sushi and alot of other exotics! I did notice that Jay had some creme broulie at a champaigne brunch at Treasure Island when we went to the buffet. It was sooo swanky!
A romantic time in the hot tub was spent after everyone went to sleep on Sunday. Its so nice to be able to connect with your spouse after all this time spent working and just seeing each other in passing. It seems never to be enough. Even the car ride was nice with Jay. I ended up being sick almost the whole way back. It was icky, but we made it.
I wish I could be on permanent vacation!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
How many times do I have to get hit in the head?
I just got done reading a friends blog about making choices to focus on the important things in her life. But beneath that particular post was a pic of the Salt Lake temple and a quote saying :"when storms rage...." This pounded a familiar feeling into my heart.
It seems that when the spirit needs to tell me something it has to hit me in the head for me to get it. Ive always been that way. I have to be slapped in the face for the spirit to communicate what it needs to to me. So, when I need to know something it usually happens big.
Ive been noticing a lack of something lately. Ive been filled with stress and confusion. A feeling of a "storm raging". Its so funny that that blog said that exact thing. Ive been really worried that another dark cloud was going to take over my life. Until I saw that picture of the temple and a little bit, just the tiniest bit, of that wonderful solitude crept into my heart.
I have the feeling that Ive been lost lately. I obviously dont deal with stress in my life as well as I should. Hence, another dark cloud may be creeping in. But in those tiny moments of solace Im learning to enjoy moments. Moments make up life. Not every moment is going to be a super fantastic one. Not every moment may even be a good one. But they are the links in time that are making up my life. Ive been taking these moments to help me enjoy my children, enjoy Jay, and even enjoy the dog.
I feel like Ive been looking for something lately. I got a glimpse of it last Sunday in relief society. And have been picking up pieces or have been getting hints about it since then....My Heavenly Father wants me back. He doesnt want me to be lost anymore. Lost in a chaotic mess in my head. I need to go to the temple.
So, I dont need to get hit over the head by the spirit to get the picture this time. Its clear to me now. These moments are letting me know that everything is ok and that Im not a failure as a mother and as a professional. Pulling up to my moms house this afternoon and seeing Keltys eyes light up and seeing her lips mouth the words "mama" lets me know where I need to be. Gage's laugh alone is enough to make me fall to my knees and thank my Heavenly Father for letting me have one of his children to teach here on earth.
Even though I have an opinion about the employment in my life I think I can put up with it a little longer. Even though I dont want to, its what I need to do. Its where I need to be and its where I need to continue to learn. The spirit is pulling my heart strings. The harder I pull away the harder the heavy feeling in my chest gets. Every time I make a final decision about career path the heavier things get. Every time I change my major Im never sure its right. Nursing is right for me. My job, right at this moment in time, may not be. But its a stepping stone. And the only way I get through it sometimes is the spirit pulling me through.
It seems that when the spirit needs to tell me something it has to hit me in the head for me to get it. Ive always been that way. I have to be slapped in the face for the spirit to communicate what it needs to to me. So, when I need to know something it usually happens big.
Ive been noticing a lack of something lately. Ive been filled with stress and confusion. A feeling of a "storm raging". Its so funny that that blog said that exact thing. Ive been really worried that another dark cloud was going to take over my life. Until I saw that picture of the temple and a little bit, just the tiniest bit, of that wonderful solitude crept into my heart.
I have the feeling that Ive been lost lately. I obviously dont deal with stress in my life as well as I should. Hence, another dark cloud may be creeping in. But in those tiny moments of solace Im learning to enjoy moments. Moments make up life. Not every moment is going to be a super fantastic one. Not every moment may even be a good one. But they are the links in time that are making up my life. Ive been taking these moments to help me enjoy my children, enjoy Jay, and even enjoy the dog.
I feel like Ive been looking for something lately. I got a glimpse of it last Sunday in relief society. And have been picking up pieces or have been getting hints about it since then....My Heavenly Father wants me back. He doesnt want me to be lost anymore. Lost in a chaotic mess in my head. I need to go to the temple.
So, I dont need to get hit over the head by the spirit to get the picture this time. Its clear to me now. These moments are letting me know that everything is ok and that Im not a failure as a mother and as a professional. Pulling up to my moms house this afternoon and seeing Keltys eyes light up and seeing her lips mouth the words "mama" lets me know where I need to be. Gage's laugh alone is enough to make me fall to my knees and thank my Heavenly Father for letting me have one of his children to teach here on earth.
Even though I have an opinion about the employment in my life I think I can put up with it a little longer. Even though I dont want to, its what I need to do. Its where I need to be and its where I need to continue to learn. The spirit is pulling my heart strings. The harder I pull away the harder the heavy feeling in my chest gets. Every time I make a final decision about career path the heavier things get. Every time I change my major Im never sure its right. Nursing is right for me. My job, right at this moment in time, may not be. But its a stepping stone. And the only way I get through it sometimes is the spirit pulling me through.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
"real college"
As many of you know, I have been having a major conflict with career path.
A final decision has been made.
Per the situation of my family, I have decided to not go to "real college" at this time. Since I dont work constantly as it is( 1 week on 1 week off). I have decided that I would be happier if I was to get some training and do a job that wont stress me out.
The job I liked best was working for Sorenson Bioscience where I was basically a button pushing monkey. Man, I loved that job!!! I need to seek employment where I can get go home without taking the job with me.
Anywho, my choice is to stay where I am and to go to SLATC to get some training to be a medical assistant.......a medical monkey :)
A final decision has been made.
Per the situation of my family, I have decided to not go to "real college" at this time. Since I dont work constantly as it is( 1 week on 1 week off). I have decided that I would be happier if I was to get some training and do a job that wont stress me out.
The job I liked best was working for Sorenson Bioscience where I was basically a button pushing monkey. Man, I loved that job!!! I need to seek employment where I can get go home without taking the job with me.
Anywho, my choice is to stay where I am and to go to SLATC to get some training to be a medical assistant.......a medical monkey :)
guess what we got!!!
Guess what we got!!!.......
A Dachshund! AKA a weiner dog! Ahhhh! He's so cute!!!
We named him Crispy. Well, Gage named him Crispy. We were going to get the dog for Gage-o's b-day but I wanted THAT dog and wasnt sure if he would last another week without someone else buying him....so we got him!!
He's proving to be our third child. He's not housetrained and we're having a hard time getting him to stop "going" on the carpet. The best cleaner for pet stains and other stains in carpet is Fantastik, its an all purpose cleaner. I tend to use it in the kitchen but its VERY good at cleaning carpet!
This will be my first dog ever. Its frustrating and fun. I am feeling so guilty that he had to be in his crate for a long time tonight while the kids went to my moms to sleep and Jay and I worked. Poor Crispy. I hope he doesnt wake up with poop and pee all over him.
Anyone have any good ideas about training dogs?......I'm also mortified that my house is going to smell like one of those "dog houses". So I have been insesantly cleaning today.
A Dachshund! AKA a weiner dog! Ahhhh! He's so cute!!!
We named him Crispy. Well, Gage named him Crispy. We were going to get the dog for Gage-o's b-day but I wanted THAT dog and wasnt sure if he would last another week without someone else buying him....so we got him!!
He's proving to be our third child. He's not housetrained and we're having a hard time getting him to stop "going" on the carpet. The best cleaner for pet stains and other stains in carpet is Fantastik, its an all purpose cleaner. I tend to use it in the kitchen but its VERY good at cleaning carpet!
This will be my first dog ever. Its frustrating and fun. I am feeling so guilty that he had to be in his crate for a long time tonight while the kids went to my moms to sleep and Jay and I worked. Poor Crispy. I hope he doesnt wake up with poop and pee all over him.
Anyone have any good ideas about training dogs?......I'm also mortified that my house is going to smell like one of those "dog houses". So I have been insesantly cleaning today.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
front butt!!!
Ok, this is what happens when you get fat. A brutal account of the daily struggles.
First, we have to talk about the biology of "fatness" then we'll get to the "juicies". So when you accumulate fat....you get bigger. Wallaa! Thats the biology.
All too often I have the opportunity to bathe fat people. I would like to state for the record that if I have to be 300 lbs. I would rather be a man than a woman. Would you like to know why?
This is why. There is a thing called "front butt" this usually happens when a woman has had a vertical c-section or open bowel surgery and then gets fat. I unfortunately have acquired a massive pooch. It still fits into pants but now there are 2 DISTINCT sections of chubby love hanging from my midsection. The upper roll, and the.....pooch. Ughhh a pooch. I have, luckily, not accumulated "front butt". But I have seen alot of them. It seriously looks like a butt!!!....on the front!
Secondly, it most certainly sucks to feel yourself jiggle. I felt my belly jiggle as I was doing something at work. I dont even remember what I was doing but I DID remember my belly jiggle. I shuddered in disgust. What is this grotesque protuberance jutting out from my 6 pack!?! And how did it get here so fast!?! Oh yeah, I remember, I'm fat now. Thats what this is! Belly jiggle....kinda funny, but not a good thing.
Most of you have heard me talk about the butt shelf. Thats exactly what it is. Its now a place to store drinks and snacks. I guess getting fat has its advantages. I'm now more organized, a walking snack shop. "Sure little boy, youd like the nutterbutters?" as I reach behind to unfasten the safely secured goodies from the buttshelf. See its handy!...maybe not sanitary but you get the drift...
Oh man, getting fat stinks!!! Literally, I have only started to have this problem but I can only imagine the crustiness of the REALLY big.(like 500 lbs or more). I realized that my armpits are fat!!! ARMPITS!!! Yes, the armpits! There are only 2 letters for this problem and they are "B" and "O". I havent had the other stinky problems but here they are. For your enjoyment. When the big big people come to the hospital we usually bathe them or try to get everyone in the shower so they dont stink, and we can stand to be around them(this goes for skinny folk too). But I have noticed that alot of older big women get yeast infection in between the front butt and their legs. Which emits a foul and distinct odor when exposed. This proposes a problem from bather to bathee. Its always an awkward convo when the bather asks the bathee to hold up their front butt so we can go deep sea diving the cavern of no return. Armed with mask, soap, and an industrial power washer we must dive in. Its a humanitarian mission really. No wait, we do it komakazee style here! In and out as quickly as possible!
Thats the most common odor of my people(the emberassingly fat). When I get sooo fat that I have to have a back scratcher with toilet paper on the end to wipe my rear I want to be shot!
Another suckish thing about being fat is that it makes things awkward. You have to think about things in a whole different way.......
Chunky love for example is different than skinny love. Now I have to watch out so I dont give myself a black eye......this also is a concern when running, dont know why because running just isnt my thing anymore. So I guess when running I would have to get an industrial sports bra to prevent occular injuries......wow, that would be one giant uni-boob!
So, we've covered fatty smells, chunky love injuries, butt shelfs, and what else?
Hmmmm
Oh yes, I would rather be a man because they dont have to deal with gigante pechos that give them back aches 'cause these suckers weigh 10 lbs a piece!!! And because they dont have to get front butt....usually they just end up scratching theirs off by the time theyre old.
First, we have to talk about the biology of "fatness" then we'll get to the "juicies". So when you accumulate fat....you get bigger. Wallaa! Thats the biology.
All too often I have the opportunity to bathe fat people. I would like to state for the record that if I have to be 300 lbs. I would rather be a man than a woman. Would you like to know why?
This is why. There is a thing called "front butt" this usually happens when a woman has had a vertical c-section or open bowel surgery and then gets fat. I unfortunately have acquired a massive pooch. It still fits into pants but now there are 2 DISTINCT sections of chubby love hanging from my midsection. The upper roll, and the.....pooch. Ughhh a pooch. I have, luckily, not accumulated "front butt". But I have seen alot of them. It seriously looks like a butt!!!....on the front!
Secondly, it most certainly sucks to feel yourself jiggle. I felt my belly jiggle as I was doing something at work. I dont even remember what I was doing but I DID remember my belly jiggle. I shuddered in disgust. What is this grotesque protuberance jutting out from my 6 pack!?! And how did it get here so fast!?! Oh yeah, I remember, I'm fat now. Thats what this is! Belly jiggle....kinda funny, but not a good thing.
Most of you have heard me talk about the butt shelf. Thats exactly what it is. Its now a place to store drinks and snacks. I guess getting fat has its advantages. I'm now more organized, a walking snack shop. "Sure little boy, youd like the nutterbutters?" as I reach behind to unfasten the safely secured goodies from the buttshelf. See its handy!...maybe not sanitary but you get the drift...
Oh man, getting fat stinks!!! Literally, I have only started to have this problem but I can only imagine the crustiness of the REALLY big.(like 500 lbs or more). I realized that my armpits are fat!!! ARMPITS!!! Yes, the armpits! There are only 2 letters for this problem and they are "B" and "O". I havent had the other stinky problems but here they are. For your enjoyment. When the big big people come to the hospital we usually bathe them or try to get everyone in the shower so they dont stink, and we can stand to be around them(this goes for skinny folk too). But I have noticed that alot of older big women get yeast infection in between the front butt and their legs. Which emits a foul and distinct odor when exposed. This proposes a problem from bather to bathee. Its always an awkward convo when the bather asks the bathee to hold up their front butt so we can go deep sea diving the cavern of no return. Armed with mask, soap, and an industrial power washer we must dive in. Its a humanitarian mission really. No wait, we do it komakazee style here! In and out as quickly as possible!
Thats the most common odor of my people(the emberassingly fat). When I get sooo fat that I have to have a back scratcher with toilet paper on the end to wipe my rear I want to be shot!
Another suckish thing about being fat is that it makes things awkward. You have to think about things in a whole different way.......
Chunky love for example is different than skinny love. Now I have to watch out so I dont give myself a black eye......this also is a concern when running, dont know why because running just isnt my thing anymore. So I guess when running I would have to get an industrial sports bra to prevent occular injuries......wow, that would be one giant uni-boob!
So, we've covered fatty smells, chunky love injuries, butt shelfs, and what else?
Hmmmm
Oh yes, I would rather be a man because they dont have to deal with gigante pechos that give them back aches 'cause these suckers weigh 10 lbs a piece!!! And because they dont have to get front butt....usually they just end up scratching theirs off by the time theyre old.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Isnt it funny.....
Isnt it funny how life changes when you become a mother? Its like nothing else matters when you have children. Considering the recent events in my life I discovered something new about myself. Jay wanted me to go home to shower and get some rest after Keltys surgery. Now, I would never go against my husband in any way unless, completely warranted but......at that moment in time, with my child that survived a very risky surgery I was not going to leave her. No one was going to make me leave my baby. I felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do. No one that could help. Not even Jay.
You hear about those mothers that can lift cars off their children and super amazing feats of craziness when it comes to a hurt child or something like that. I get it, I've felt that before. I feel like I could could do something like that if in the right situation. But this one was....different.
We had spent some time with Kelty in the PICU and then it was time to leave. I felt like I could leave for a second but I deffinately didnt want to go anywhere for too long...you know, just in case.
So Jay came in and asked me to go home with him. It was like the only string that had been holding me together...snapped. It snapped like the last thread of an unraveling rope. And I crumbled right there. I am usually very emotional....inside. I HATE crying in front of people. If I could have sobbed the whole day, I would have. But there were too many people around. And in that moment I was MAD! Jay was asking me to go home out of an act of love and kindness. I comprehended that was the best thing to do but I didnt want to. My actions were a little disturbing in the crumbling emotion. I utterly refused. It was an act of deffiance to Jay. I had no intention of making him mad, which he wasnt. But it was a standoff between Jay and I at her bedside. I dont believe I have ever refused to do anything for my husband, I dont think I have ever told him no before when he has asked me to do something. But I looked him right in the eye and said "I am NOT leaving!" And we stood there for a couple seconds trying to see what the other would do. After that all I could do was cry into his chest.
This so called "stand off" was the last ounce of courage I had. I was angry, sad and all the other emotions rolled up into one big ball of Aerial. If I was going to go home, all I wanted to do there was be by myself!!! And of course, that wasnt going to happen. But now I'm grateful for everyone that helped.
But isnt it funny, when it comes to your kids what things happen. Theres no telling what a "mama bear" will do.
You hear about those mothers that can lift cars off their children and super amazing feats of craziness when it comes to a hurt child or something like that. I get it, I've felt that before. I feel like I could could do something like that if in the right situation. But this one was....different.
We had spent some time with Kelty in the PICU and then it was time to leave. I felt like I could leave for a second but I deffinately didnt want to go anywhere for too long...you know, just in case.
So Jay came in and asked me to go home with him. It was like the only string that had been holding me together...snapped. It snapped like the last thread of an unraveling rope. And I crumbled right there. I am usually very emotional....inside. I HATE crying in front of people. If I could have sobbed the whole day, I would have. But there were too many people around. And in that moment I was MAD! Jay was asking me to go home out of an act of love and kindness. I comprehended that was the best thing to do but I didnt want to. My actions were a little disturbing in the crumbling emotion. I utterly refused. It was an act of deffiance to Jay. I had no intention of making him mad, which he wasnt. But it was a standoff between Jay and I at her bedside. I dont believe I have ever refused to do anything for my husband, I dont think I have ever told him no before when he has asked me to do something. But I looked him right in the eye and said "I am NOT leaving!" And we stood there for a couple seconds trying to see what the other would do. After that all I could do was cry into his chest.
This so called "stand off" was the last ounce of courage I had. I was angry, sad and all the other emotions rolled up into one big ball of Aerial. If I was going to go home, all I wanted to do there was be by myself!!! And of course, that wasnt going to happen. But now I'm grateful for everyone that helped.
But isnt it funny, when it comes to your kids what things happen. Theres no telling what a "mama bear" will do.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
keltys surgery and update
Hello everyone. First, I would like to say thanks for all the support. it means so much to me that people have hopped on planes and driven accross states to be here and support us. I cant tell you how grateful I am to have the family and friends I do. It means more than words could ever explain to have you all here with us.
Kelty has been diagnosed with brain cancer. I dont know exactly what type it is yet. In fact, theyre still scraping it out of her head as i write this.
We were sent up to Primary Childrens yesterday for a CT scan to see if anything was going on in the head that could be causing keltys gross motor delays. Her symptoms prior to this were: not walking, decrease in movement, cocking her head to the side all the time, and macrcephaly( having a big head). I had been noticing her shake and lose balance all the time amongst other troubling symptoms.
So they found pockets of fluid in her head from a tumor in her cerebellum. The tumor had been closing off the opening to the spinal chord where the fluid is supposed to escape. It had been building up in her head so bad that it was starting to push through her brain and make her head bigger.
After the CT they had us talk to a doctor and he said it would not be a good idea to go home but to stay in the hospital and do surgery as soon as possible. So we got registered after spending hours talking to a doc and getting everything situated. Turns out that this doc is the chief of peds neurosurgery, chief in charge of resident training, adjuct chief of pediatrics and a professor of neurosurgery for the university of utah. So he must be the man. oh yeah, hes also the director of some kind of brain board and physician of the year.
We had an MRI done last night and it went well. there was no tumor on her spine as well. thank heaven. Kelty was given Deximethysone for her brain swelling through the night and to prepare for surgery.
This morning was the most heart breaking thing I have ever been through. not including the horrendous night last night. Having to watch your daughter be carried away with her hand outstretched and screaming into an operating room where she may never come back is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.
So they will(or already have) make a 6 inch incision in the back of her head, remove a piece of bone and literally scrape this tumor out of her cerebellum. They have already placed a drain in the top of her head to get some of the fluid out to reduce the trauma of the swelling. She could have some side effects from the surgery including partial facial parallysis, not being able to look upward for a while, and some breathing problems. And if the doc misses and slips a milimeter she could be paralyzed from the neck down and be on vent for the rest of her life.
.................................................................................................................................................................
The above statements were written durring Keltys surgery as I waited in the waiting room about 3 weeks ago. The connection wasnt very good and wouldnt load. So it never got posted.
..................................................................................................................................................................
Today, Kelty is home and doing very well! Exceptionally well! I am excited to say that she has no side affects from surgery and is now acting like a "normal" 20 month old.
The hospital stay was scary and nerve racking.....to say the least. I have never been so tired in my life. Kelty HAD to have someone with her or she was screaming constantly. I dont blame her, if i had my head spliced open I wouldnt be very happy either. So I stayed...like I was going to go...
Anyway, we are all doing soooo incredibly good its awesome!!! I cant explain the relief and how grateful I am to have my little baby still with us. Shes a miracle, plain and simple.
I cant believe the outpouring of support and love we felt and saw from family and friends. I am filled with almost disbelief that sooo many people would drop everything to come and wait with us at the hospital durring surgery. My whole(the complete Christensen side with the exception of Ryan who is in Georgia) drove across the state and called in sick at work to come and help us through a rough time. Jays mama dropped everything and booked a flight on a days notice and flew in from oklahoma to help us with Kelty and her recovery. What a blessing she has been.
There are no words to explain the love I felt that day. I was mortified but had such a wonderful blessing from family to be able to get through the hardest part of my life so far.
Thankyou everyone for your generous kindness.
Kelty has been diagnosed with brain cancer. I dont know exactly what type it is yet. In fact, theyre still scraping it out of her head as i write this.
We were sent up to Primary Childrens yesterday for a CT scan to see if anything was going on in the head that could be causing keltys gross motor delays. Her symptoms prior to this were: not walking, decrease in movement, cocking her head to the side all the time, and macrcephaly( having a big head). I had been noticing her shake and lose balance all the time amongst other troubling symptoms.
So they found pockets of fluid in her head from a tumor in her cerebellum. The tumor had been closing off the opening to the spinal chord where the fluid is supposed to escape. It had been building up in her head so bad that it was starting to push through her brain and make her head bigger.
After the CT they had us talk to a doctor and he said it would not be a good idea to go home but to stay in the hospital and do surgery as soon as possible. So we got registered after spending hours talking to a doc and getting everything situated. Turns out that this doc is the chief of peds neurosurgery, chief in charge of resident training, adjuct chief of pediatrics and a professor of neurosurgery for the university of utah. So he must be the man. oh yeah, hes also the director of some kind of brain board and physician of the year.
We had an MRI done last night and it went well. there was no tumor on her spine as well. thank heaven. Kelty was given Deximethysone for her brain swelling through the night and to prepare for surgery.
This morning was the most heart breaking thing I have ever been through. not including the horrendous night last night. Having to watch your daughter be carried away with her hand outstretched and screaming into an operating room where she may never come back is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.
So they will(or already have) make a 6 inch incision in the back of her head, remove a piece of bone and literally scrape this tumor out of her cerebellum. They have already placed a drain in the top of her head to get some of the fluid out to reduce the trauma of the swelling. She could have some side effects from the surgery including partial facial parallysis, not being able to look upward for a while, and some breathing problems. And if the doc misses and slips a milimeter she could be paralyzed from the neck down and be on vent for the rest of her life.
.................................................................................................................................................................
The above statements were written durring Keltys surgery as I waited in the waiting room about 3 weeks ago. The connection wasnt very good and wouldnt load. So it never got posted.
..................................................................................................................................................................
Today, Kelty is home and doing very well! Exceptionally well! I am excited to say that she has no side affects from surgery and is now acting like a "normal" 20 month old.
The hospital stay was scary and nerve racking.....to say the least. I have never been so tired in my life. Kelty HAD to have someone with her or she was screaming constantly. I dont blame her, if i had my head spliced open I wouldnt be very happy either. So I stayed...like I was going to go...
Anyway, we are all doing soooo incredibly good its awesome!!! I cant explain the relief and how grateful I am to have my little baby still with us. Shes a miracle, plain and simple.
I cant believe the outpouring of support and love we felt and saw from family and friends. I am filled with almost disbelief that sooo many people would drop everything to come and wait with us at the hospital durring surgery. My whole(the complete Christensen side with the exception of Ryan who is in Georgia) drove across the state and called in sick at work to come and help us through a rough time. Jays mama dropped everything and booked a flight on a days notice and flew in from oklahoma to help us with Kelty and her recovery. What a blessing she has been.
There are no words to explain the love I felt that day. I was mortified but had such a wonderful blessing from family to be able to get through the hardest part of my life so far.
Thankyou everyone for your generous kindness.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Oh, for Pete sakes!
Good morning my loyal mignion of scrupulous(totally spelled wrong) readers!
One wonders why someone would dress like a cracked out ventriliquist puppet? I have seen many people walking around in public with doll makeup on. The kind of makeup with the pale white foundation, dark circles under the eyes and purple eyeshadow with a hint of black on the lips. What is this?
Why do these people follow Tim Burtons imagination so closely that they have to act out in "real life"? I came upon a young lady with a corsette of black and purple stripes atop a freyed white button down shirt. But not to forget, the docs that lace up to your thigh and have a wedge as thick as 4 inches. Ok, the shoes were kindof cool but please! You look like the Corpse Bride gone bad!
I dont understand this fashion. Carrying around chuckey dolls and being obsessed with Nightmare Before Christmas. I just dont get it. I see grown men walking around with backpacks and binkis in their mouths. If thats not the biggest giveaway for being a drug-ee than I dont know what is.
HELLLOOOOO!! What ever happened to looking presentable in public? And acting like ladies....and gentlemen?
One wonders why someone would dress like a cracked out ventriliquist puppet? I have seen many people walking around in public with doll makeup on. The kind of makeup with the pale white foundation, dark circles under the eyes and purple eyeshadow with a hint of black on the lips. What is this?
Why do these people follow Tim Burtons imagination so closely that they have to act out in "real life"? I came upon a young lady with a corsette of black and purple stripes atop a freyed white button down shirt. But not to forget, the docs that lace up to your thigh and have a wedge as thick as 4 inches. Ok, the shoes were kindof cool but please! You look like the Corpse Bride gone bad!
I dont understand this fashion. Carrying around chuckey dolls and being obsessed with Nightmare Before Christmas. I just dont get it. I see grown men walking around with backpacks and binkis in their mouths. If thats not the biggest giveaway for being a drug-ee than I dont know what is.
HELLLOOOOO!! What ever happened to looking presentable in public? And acting like ladies....and gentlemen?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Bash butt had a birthday!!! YAY!!!
So this last weekend was the scrapbook expo. And it was a heap of fun! Although, I have been a little "out of sorts" lately it was still a grand time. It was the first time in a while that I have been able to relax and do something that I wanted to do....all by myself. I seem to be one of those people that need ALOT of solitary time.
Jay and the creatures came with me. But left me alone for an hour or two while they went to the golf expo on the other side of the convention center. It was like heaven. I LOVE my family but it was nice to be able to just do something alone. I only got one page done though. I tend to have extravagant taste when it comes to scrapbooking. I did a portrait of Kelty on fairy tale paper that had beautiful soft shades of blue, purple, and gold. It was embossed with gold glittery stuff and had a fancy tril on the bottom with words that said, "there once lived a beautiful princess". It kind of looked like a water color picture of fancy paisleys and stuff. Then I put nickel eyelets down the side and threaded sheer blue ribbon through them and tied them in knots. All in all, it turned out quite well.
I also got to see a couple friends that had stopped by to do some papel shopping and pick up some of the latest techniques in the scrapbooking world. I got some new brads and embellishments while Jay had just as much fun looking at paper and trying to do some cropping of his own. He was on the lookout for some temple stuff, but no such luck at the expo for that this year. It is such great fun getting such super awesome deals on really expensive stuff! I got some packs of brass alphabet brads(the big ones) from Rusty Pickle for 50 cents!!! WOOT! Also got some new clear stamps for meer cents! We got sooo much stuff it was ridiculous! I wont need to buy anything for like a year!!!
I love the family business thing that goes on there too. My parents both own their own business and have been fairly successful at it. Jay and I have been thinking about starting our own branch of the business too. It feels like the right time to do it now. I just have to get out of the funk first. And that will be happening soon I hope. Things have been going well and we're taking steps to get me back on track and figure out whats wrong with Kelty.
So, Saturday was my bigger little sisters 21st birthday. It was sooo cute she had to wear a tiara all day! I bought her balloons, a new purse, a new wallet(one of the big flat ones), and the Twilight movie. EEEE! It was fun. Its so nice to be able to get along with my sister more now-a-days. It always seemed like she was so much younger than me that we couldnt relate well. But now that shes getting older its getting alot better. I would actually rather spend time with my sister now than some of my old friends. Not such a bad thing.
It was a good time. I'm always glad to see the fam get along. All of us even went out to dinner to Chuck A Rama after and had tons of fun. My parents still think its funny to tell Jay emberassing throw up stories about me when I was little. lol
Jay and the creatures came with me. But left me alone for an hour or two while they went to the golf expo on the other side of the convention center. It was like heaven. I LOVE my family but it was nice to be able to just do something alone. I only got one page done though. I tend to have extravagant taste when it comes to scrapbooking. I did a portrait of Kelty on fairy tale paper that had beautiful soft shades of blue, purple, and gold. It was embossed with gold glittery stuff and had a fancy tril on the bottom with words that said, "there once lived a beautiful princess". It kind of looked like a water color picture of fancy paisleys and stuff. Then I put nickel eyelets down the side and threaded sheer blue ribbon through them and tied them in knots. All in all, it turned out quite well.
I also got to see a couple friends that had stopped by to do some papel shopping and pick up some of the latest techniques in the scrapbooking world. I got some new brads and embellishments while Jay had just as much fun looking at paper and trying to do some cropping of his own. He was on the lookout for some temple stuff, but no such luck at the expo for that this year. It is such great fun getting such super awesome deals on really expensive stuff! I got some packs of brass alphabet brads(the big ones) from Rusty Pickle for 50 cents!!! WOOT! Also got some new clear stamps for meer cents! We got sooo much stuff it was ridiculous! I wont need to buy anything for like a year!!!
I love the family business thing that goes on there too. My parents both own their own business and have been fairly successful at it. Jay and I have been thinking about starting our own branch of the business too. It feels like the right time to do it now. I just have to get out of the funk first. And that will be happening soon I hope. Things have been going well and we're taking steps to get me back on track and figure out whats wrong with Kelty.
So, Saturday was my bigger little sisters 21st birthday. It was sooo cute she had to wear a tiara all day! I bought her balloons, a new purse, a new wallet(one of the big flat ones), and the Twilight movie. EEEE! It was fun. Its so nice to be able to get along with my sister more now-a-days. It always seemed like she was so much younger than me that we couldnt relate well. But now that shes getting older its getting alot better. I would actually rather spend time with my sister now than some of my old friends. Not such a bad thing.
It was a good time. I'm always glad to see the fam get along. All of us even went out to dinner to Chuck A Rama after and had tons of fun. My parents still think its funny to tell Jay emberassing throw up stories about me when I was little. lol
Friday, March 20, 2009
This is depressing, so dont read if you dont want a downer.
This blog is going to be very blunt and maybe traumatic to you readers. But, this how I truly feel and whats really going on behind the "happy mask" that is Aerial. If you dont want to read a depressing rant dont read any further.
Youve been warned, this is not happy or funny.
K, I guess you want to know whats really going on. First, I write like I'm talking to someone, usually a best friend or my husband. I know there is a term for this but I cant remember if its second person, conversationalism, or what. Which leads me into my lack of memory lately. Throughout my life I have blocked out whole summers and big chunks of my life. I dont know why. I just dont remember anything. I dont remember a few times that I went to girls camp with church. I honestly cannot recall the whole summer of 1999 and 2001. There are also pieces missing from my childhood(pre teenage angst). I dont think I've sustained anything too traumatizing in my 25 years of existence. But who knows.
Second, I think I'm crazy. Seriously. Lately I have been having a really hard time dealing with anything. The littlest things are sending me into meltdowns. Maybe I'm bipolar. There is some depression going on for sure. But you dont get anxiety without some sort of depression. Yesterday I balled all day. I cried for absolutely no reason, and could not stop. There are some stressers in my life. I think there is something wrong with my baby. Shes almost 2 and hasnt started walking. In fact, her movement has been decreasing. She isnt able to hold herself upright without bracing her hands on the floor, she doesnt crawl very fast, her right foot seems to drag when I stand her up and walk her, and shes cocking her head to the side all the time now. All bad signs for development. I am so worried about her that I feel like I cant even breathe. The doctor called out of the blue to make sure we bring her in on the 25th. What kind of doc calls a patient out of the blue?.....ok, a good one. But that says the doc is concerned, which I knew. But it made me completely freak out! Like seriously, I got on the couch and didnt move for like 4 hours. Gage watched cartoons, which I hate myself for. I should be playing with him and engaging him in stimulating activities. And Kelty slept on my side until Jay got home. Then he took over because I was so completley crazy that I just slept. Then I called in sick to work.
The day I planted roses I was happy. The next day, cried all day. Today(Thursday), depressed and borred. I did nothing and felt sad all day. I'm not just sad, I get really angry and yell at my children. I scream at Gage and tell him to shutup. I'm starting to cry right now. No child deserves to be screamed at, let alone to be told to shutup by their mother. What is wrong with me? Sometimes I cant even get out of bed. I can hear my baby crying in the other room because she wants to get out of her crib. But I just cant move some days.
I wake up depressed alot. I think to myself, wow you are so fat and ugly. No wonder Jay doesnt make a move more often. He thinks your gross. I honestly dont know if thats true. It even sounds absurd to me. But I seriously cant think through it sometimes, actually 90% of the time. I hate the way I look. I am disgusted with myself. I want so badly to wear all my cute clothes. But theyre all too small.
And what is up with this paranoia? I'm getting increasignly paranoid. I think that some of my work friends are talking crap and going to the boss and I'm going to get fired. Thats scaring me. Are they all really talking crap about me?
I cant stand this! The wierd thing is that I am aware that I'm depressed. I need help. I looked at LDS social services and I am going to get counseling or medication or something. Its effecting my job and is becoming debilitating. I feel all these horrible feelings and cant get out of the funk. Maybe if I can work out some of these "issues" I will be happier. In the meantime I'm trying to make life for everyone around me a little more pleasant. Thanks for all you that still stick with me even though I am a rage filled *@&!@# at times.
Most of all, thankyou Jay. Thanks for being my rock. Thanks for always being there and standing by your crazy wife. Thankyou for crying with me the other day. I think I'll pull through this with some help.
Youve been warned, this is not happy or funny.
K, I guess you want to know whats really going on. First, I write like I'm talking to someone, usually a best friend or my husband. I know there is a term for this but I cant remember if its second person, conversationalism, or what. Which leads me into my lack of memory lately. Throughout my life I have blocked out whole summers and big chunks of my life. I dont know why. I just dont remember anything. I dont remember a few times that I went to girls camp with church. I honestly cannot recall the whole summer of 1999 and 2001. There are also pieces missing from my childhood(pre teenage angst). I dont think I've sustained anything too traumatizing in my 25 years of existence. But who knows.
Second, I think I'm crazy. Seriously. Lately I have been having a really hard time dealing with anything. The littlest things are sending me into meltdowns. Maybe I'm bipolar. There is some depression going on for sure. But you dont get anxiety without some sort of depression. Yesterday I balled all day. I cried for absolutely no reason, and could not stop. There are some stressers in my life. I think there is something wrong with my baby. Shes almost 2 and hasnt started walking. In fact, her movement has been decreasing. She isnt able to hold herself upright without bracing her hands on the floor, she doesnt crawl very fast, her right foot seems to drag when I stand her up and walk her, and shes cocking her head to the side all the time now. All bad signs for development. I am so worried about her that I feel like I cant even breathe. The doctor called out of the blue to make sure we bring her in on the 25th. What kind of doc calls a patient out of the blue?.....ok, a good one. But that says the doc is concerned, which I knew. But it made me completely freak out! Like seriously, I got on the couch and didnt move for like 4 hours. Gage watched cartoons, which I hate myself for. I should be playing with him and engaging him in stimulating activities. And Kelty slept on my side until Jay got home. Then he took over because I was so completley crazy that I just slept. Then I called in sick to work.
The day I planted roses I was happy. The next day, cried all day. Today(Thursday), depressed and borred. I did nothing and felt sad all day. I'm not just sad, I get really angry and yell at my children. I scream at Gage and tell him to shutup. I'm starting to cry right now. No child deserves to be screamed at, let alone to be told to shutup by their mother. What is wrong with me? Sometimes I cant even get out of bed. I can hear my baby crying in the other room because she wants to get out of her crib. But I just cant move some days.
I wake up depressed alot. I think to myself, wow you are so fat and ugly. No wonder Jay doesnt make a move more often. He thinks your gross. I honestly dont know if thats true. It even sounds absurd to me. But I seriously cant think through it sometimes, actually 90% of the time. I hate the way I look. I am disgusted with myself. I want so badly to wear all my cute clothes. But theyre all too small.
And what is up with this paranoia? I'm getting increasignly paranoid. I think that some of my work friends are talking crap and going to the boss and I'm going to get fired. Thats scaring me. Are they all really talking crap about me?
I cant stand this! The wierd thing is that I am aware that I'm depressed. I need help. I looked at LDS social services and I am going to get counseling or medication or something. Its effecting my job and is becoming debilitating. I feel all these horrible feelings and cant get out of the funk. Maybe if I can work out some of these "issues" I will be happier. In the meantime I'm trying to make life for everyone around me a little more pleasant. Thanks for all you that still stick with me even though I am a rage filled *@&!@# at times.
Most of all, thankyou Jay. Thanks for being my rock. Thanks for always being there and standing by your crazy wife. Thankyou for crying with me the other day. I think I'll pull through this with some help.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
This is how I know I am getting old!
Today was such a beautiful day! My kiddos and I planted roses in the front of our house today. Well, Gage dug some holes and cut the grass with scissors. I weeded the flower beds, took a garden hoe to 'em, put some crazy chemical called Preen down to kill anything and everything that isnt my precious new flowers, and thus planted "Queen Pinks" in the front flower beds.
I figured roses wouldnt hurt. I've never done any actual gardening of my own. I've helped with my parents yard quite a bit. And even helped maintain the Walmart on 56th. My dad owns a maintenance/landscaping company, and he said I wouldnt be able to kill roses. Plus, roses are a full sun plant. Our house faces south sooooo the roses should....not....die.
I have really been dying to get my hands into some soil and enjoy the outdoors ever since Jay and I have been married. When I was little my mom always gave us(my sis and I) a piece of the garden to do whatever we wanted with. But we had to plant flowers or veggies. Sometimes nothing would come up but other times we would get a whole bunch of whatever we planted. I think dad would go out and replant things to make sure we werent disappointed after planting seeds and then digging them out looking for potato bugs.
But at the duplex I was afraid to do anything, even make a pot garden. No, not the wacky weed, but veggies in pots. I killed a lavander in a pot the first year we were married. I thought those we supposed to be indestructable......it died a few weeks later, thanks to my former black thumb. Anyway, Maryanne(former landlord) was sooo insane about her garden that I wouldnt even let Gage play in the front yard. It was beautiful though.
I vowe to keep my plants alive! I'm even going to get some plant food and fertilizer for the Queen Pinks and pamper them like little chihauhaus with diamond collars.
Is it weird to be almost obsessing about roses like those crazy little old ladies?
This is how I know I am getting old. Gardening is a fantastic hobby! Where can I get some Allysium and Marigolds! Ahhh! I even know the difference between anual and perenial, full sun and full shade. I also think a rose of Sharon is going to look AWESOME in the patio corner. Yes, I am getting old---er
I figured roses wouldnt hurt. I've never done any actual gardening of my own. I've helped with my parents yard quite a bit. And even helped maintain the Walmart on 56th. My dad owns a maintenance/landscaping company, and he said I wouldnt be able to kill roses. Plus, roses are a full sun plant. Our house faces south sooooo the roses should....not....die.
I have really been dying to get my hands into some soil and enjoy the outdoors ever since Jay and I have been married. When I was little my mom always gave us(my sis and I) a piece of the garden to do whatever we wanted with. But we had to plant flowers or veggies. Sometimes nothing would come up but other times we would get a whole bunch of whatever we planted. I think dad would go out and replant things to make sure we werent disappointed after planting seeds and then digging them out looking for potato bugs.
But at the duplex I was afraid to do anything, even make a pot garden. No, not the wacky weed, but veggies in pots. I killed a lavander in a pot the first year we were married. I thought those we supposed to be indestructable......it died a few weeks later, thanks to my former black thumb. Anyway, Maryanne(former landlord) was sooo insane about her garden that I wouldnt even let Gage play in the front yard. It was beautiful though.
I vowe to keep my plants alive! I'm even going to get some plant food and fertilizer for the Queen Pinks and pamper them like little chihauhaus with diamond collars.
Is it weird to be almost obsessing about roses like those crazy little old ladies?
This is how I know I am getting old. Gardening is a fantastic hobby! Where can I get some Allysium and Marigolds! Ahhh! I even know the difference between anual and perenial, full sun and full shade. I also think a rose of Sharon is going to look AWESOME in the patio corner. Yes, I am getting old---er
Monday, March 9, 2009
I've learned a valuable lesson
I've been learning so many life changing lessons since I have been employed at Pioneer Valley Hospital.....and since I have become an adult. They are as follows:
1. speak up or shut up, theyre not going to hear you if you dont say anything
2. dont think your better than you are, people will gladly shoot you down
3. dont try to potty train a boy that isnt ready...Gage was really easy though
4. adults can pee their pants, and at work, poop on everything
5. enjoy the present moment, dont worry about things that are out of your control
6. old people smell funny....70+ nothing will help you escape the funk
7. love grows deeper with time
8. look for the little things that make you happy
9. dont covet your neighbors things and call it ambition to be on the same level
10. find something that makes you happy and do it everyday
11. exercise is good
12. family will always be there to pick up the pieces when nobody else will
13. when you have made a major mistake, admit it, dont try to fix it by doing something stupid
14. learn from regret
15. try to forgive easily
16. listen to fulfilling, good, happy music
17. look for one good thing about everyone you meet
18. its ok to voice your opinion
19. dont let anyone walk all over you
20. take a deep breath and keep going
21. people in the hospital are out of their minds most of the time, including the staff
22. dont be afraid to stick up for someone else
23. sleeping is good
24. the always wear clean underwear thing is TRUE!!! you will get in an accident and we will remove your clothing, including batman underwear....on 20 year old young men....i hope i never get in an accident where they have to cut my clothing off, let alone see my undies!
25. I've learned that watching people sleep is a gift from Heavenly Father. Its at this time that after a day of MacKelty screaming, Gage needing numerous time outs, and nothing getting done. I can see the beautiful perfect skin of my baby girl. I get to see her long eyelashes clearly and hear her giggle in her sleep. I get to see the little boy thats snorring on my shoulder and how his cute little face is turning into a boy rather than a child. And its when I get to see the little creases on the outside of jays eyes that make him look happy all the time, even when he's not, is a gift from Heavenly Father. Its in these sleeping moments that I am thankful to see the sweet spirits of my family and appreciate them for just exactly who they are.
These are just some of the lessons I've learned from being an YOUNG adult. Some have been bad and some have been tremendously good.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
creeeeek, creeeeek, bang!!
Last night was the first night in our new house. Even with my major meltdown the other day and the stress of paying for everything the house needs I think I did quite well...... I slept all night anyway.
So the screen door/storm door slams shut and flings itself open with the slightest gust of wind. Its kinda creepy. It sounds like someone has opened the door to come in the house. But all in all, it wasnt too bad. Jay fell asleep on the floor next to me.....well, next to the couch where I was perched and quite comfy....until my hip started aching from the stupid bar from my moms couch that I slept on earlier in the day.
Jay made his way to the bed sometime durring the night. I stayed on the couch until 7. I stayed on the couch because I was on call for work and didnt want to get into too deep of a sleep and miss the call to come in. So it didnt make for a restful night.....especially with the door slamming constantly. I wonder if the neighbors can hear it banging?
The other thing we noticed about the house was that the icky black sticky subfloor in the master bedroom is grosss! And making black marks on the carpet in the hallway. ICK! I guess we'll get the carpets cleaned again....maybe we shouldnt have pulled up the dingy carpet tiles.....but still! Old people have accidents when they stand up from bed and I'm quite sure there was a hospital bed in there...hence the weird tiling job. I just didnt want to have some ugly microbes making their way into anyone.
so the first night was ....ok.
So the screen door/storm door slams shut and flings itself open with the slightest gust of wind. Its kinda creepy. It sounds like someone has opened the door to come in the house. But all in all, it wasnt too bad. Jay fell asleep on the floor next to me.....well, next to the couch where I was perched and quite comfy....until my hip started aching from the stupid bar from my moms couch that I slept on earlier in the day.
Jay made his way to the bed sometime durring the night. I stayed on the couch until 7. I stayed on the couch because I was on call for work and didnt want to get into too deep of a sleep and miss the call to come in. So it didnt make for a restful night.....especially with the door slamming constantly. I wonder if the neighbors can hear it banging?
The other thing we noticed about the house was that the icky black sticky subfloor in the master bedroom is grosss! And making black marks on the carpet in the hallway. ICK! I guess we'll get the carpets cleaned again....maybe we shouldnt have pulled up the dingy carpet tiles.....but still! Old people have accidents when they stand up from bed and I'm quite sure there was a hospital bed in there...hence the weird tiling job. I just didnt want to have some ugly microbes making their way into anyone.
so the first night was ....ok.
Friday, March 6, 2009
black sludge creeping into places where it shouldnt be!!!
So, we bought an old house and have been so called "renovating" it. But I have been starting to love it. I didnt like it at first but now that I have stripped wallpaper from every single room, and thus, painted every single room....I now like it.
Its called "grandpa's house". Because the old man that lived there previous to us died. And it looked like Mr. Rogers house when we made the initial visit.
Dont ever put contact paper up as wallpaper. What the heck was Mrs. Grandpa thinking!!! It took ALOT of soaking and scraping to get that crap down!!! Although, we gave up and primed it in one of the rooms and painted over it. It worked good! We should have done that with the rest of the house! It would have saved us 2 days!!
So much paint. Too much paint. Arms sore. Clothes ruined. Brain cells dead.
So now that the walls are pretty, we are planning on replacing the hideous floors sometime in the near future. Also getting a french door to replace the sliding glass door, that has NO lock!.....we have a baseball bat and a stick protecting us from bad guys until the french door can be payed for..........hopefully very soon. Was grandpa not afraid of getting his precious housewares stolen?....or much worse, getting mugged in the middle of the night?
Weird things are going on in this 60+ year old house. We turned the kitchen faucet on and the bathroom sink overflowed.....awe suck! It costed us $589.36 to have all the draines cleaned and fixed....hey, at least we can shower and wash dishes now:) Thats where the sludge came in. When the plumber/rooter man cleaned the kitched drain it spewed black sludge from the wall. He showed me the pipe and it was solid black sludge! Grosss! Grandpa probly never had the drains cleaned according to the rooter man.
Grandpa didnt like matching flooring either. He prefered peel and stick lenoleum. The kitchen is that icky peel and stick old stuff. Gages room is lenoleum in the nastiest color ever! MacKeltys room is gold shag. The master bedroom is a combo of peel and stick vinyl, subflooring in a beautiful sticky black and orange fleshy colored peel and sticks. But the living room isnt too bad, its some kind of light colored berber.
The house really isnt as hideous as I make it out to be. Its actually a cute little cottage-ee type home. We didnt buy it for the flooring but for the charm. It has an awesome covered patio right off the back door, a big yard for the kids to play, mature trees(although in need of a good pruning), a workshop complete with tools and "man stuff" for Jay and Gage-o. It also has a garage and a master suite.
It also has alot of the original fixtures and built-ins with original hardwear. The house has the original windows but those will need replacing before winter. They make the house look antique, which I like.
Grandpa may have been an eccentric old man. Maybe he just liked piles of rocks? He has piles of rocks everywhere.Who knows? All I can do is shrug my shoulders.
I think he also had a thing for big spikey rip your arm off trees. There is a mighty big tree in the front yard with wicked looking spikes jutting out from every inch of it. And lots of really old rose bushes with flesh piercing thorns just waiting to get me.
So all in all, this is a wonderful house and I am falling more and more in love with it day by day(by changing it to all the things I want in it day by day:).
Its called "grandpa's house". Because the old man that lived there previous to us died. And it looked like Mr. Rogers house when we made the initial visit.
Dont ever put contact paper up as wallpaper. What the heck was Mrs. Grandpa thinking!!! It took ALOT of soaking and scraping to get that crap down!!! Although, we gave up and primed it in one of the rooms and painted over it. It worked good! We should have done that with the rest of the house! It would have saved us 2 days!!
So much paint. Too much paint. Arms sore. Clothes ruined. Brain cells dead.
So now that the walls are pretty, we are planning on replacing the hideous floors sometime in the near future. Also getting a french door to replace the sliding glass door, that has NO lock!.....we have a baseball bat and a stick protecting us from bad guys until the french door can be payed for..........hopefully very soon. Was grandpa not afraid of getting his precious housewares stolen?....or much worse, getting mugged in the middle of the night?
Weird things are going on in this 60+ year old house. We turned the kitchen faucet on and the bathroom sink overflowed.....awe suck! It costed us $589.36 to have all the draines cleaned and fixed....hey, at least we can shower and wash dishes now:) Thats where the sludge came in. When the plumber/rooter man cleaned the kitched drain it spewed black sludge from the wall. He showed me the pipe and it was solid black sludge! Grosss! Grandpa probly never had the drains cleaned according to the rooter man.
Grandpa didnt like matching flooring either. He prefered peel and stick lenoleum. The kitchen is that icky peel and stick old stuff. Gages room is lenoleum in the nastiest color ever! MacKeltys room is gold shag. The master bedroom is a combo of peel and stick vinyl, subflooring in a beautiful sticky black and orange fleshy colored peel and sticks. But the living room isnt too bad, its some kind of light colored berber.
The house really isnt as hideous as I make it out to be. Its actually a cute little cottage-ee type home. We didnt buy it for the flooring but for the charm. It has an awesome covered patio right off the back door, a big yard for the kids to play, mature trees(although in need of a good pruning), a workshop complete with tools and "man stuff" for Jay and Gage-o. It also has a garage and a master suite.
It also has alot of the original fixtures and built-ins with original hardwear. The house has the original windows but those will need replacing before winter. They make the house look antique, which I like.
Grandpa may have been an eccentric old man. Maybe he just liked piles of rocks? He has piles of rocks everywhere.Who knows? All I can do is shrug my shoulders.
I think he also had a thing for big spikey rip your arm off trees. There is a mighty big tree in the front yard with wicked looking spikes jutting out from every inch of it. And lots of really old rose bushes with flesh piercing thorns just waiting to get me.
So all in all, this is a wonderful house and I am falling more and more in love with it day by day(by changing it to all the things I want in it day by day:).
Monday, February 23, 2009
Ode to the mini vacay.
Star date: February 20th 2009
Location: I-80 Westbound
It was just the 2 of us. Riding along in the gold stratus that has served us well since is purchase. Wendover bound we were.....to go see a rock show. Some say, Wendover? I say, yes Wendover.
So there we were, on our way out to Wendover. A mini vacay. Seems to be the tradition we have for February. Last year we went to Ogden. Upgraded this year......:)
There is absolutely nothing on the way there after Tooele. A couple of signs that said there were supposedly towns.....but we saw NOTHING!!! We did see a big tree-like sculpture on the side of the road and alot of rocks in the sand professing that "Jesus loves me" or "J + A".....things like that. We listened to classic rock the whole way there and it was great fun.
We got there about 6:30, maybe a little earlier. Got checked in at the Rainbow. Our room was soooo funny! It looked like it hadnt been updated since the 80's. It was black zebra carpet, shiny red metallic drapes with an ugly design on the vallance. A wall of mirrors with black lacquered furniture. It was just like a po..... nevermind, it was ugly. Makes ya wanna say, bow chicka wow wow!!!
So we went down to get me fed. We ate at the rainforest buffet. It was a night called Seafood Extravaganza!!! They had crab legs, crab claws, prime rib, a whole bunch of different kinds of fish, all sorts of lucious meats, veggies, and fruits. It was tastey. I had cheesecake for dessert and everything else in between. Jay had a horn type thing with delicious cream in the middle for his dessert.
We gambled a little. We played the penny slots with $10 a piece. Didnt win anything...shucks. Then we went to bed after the casino smoke had given us both a headache.
The next morning Jay let me sleep in....like he always does. We got showered and ready to go after a breakfast of McDonalds. We decided that we would find me a swim suit so I could go swimming with Jay. No such luck, no walmart or anything!!! Then we drove around the town to see what it was like. The Utah side is really really depressing! Not a real house, not a one!!! Only trailers. Poor ghetto trailers. We did drive all around the old military base and learned about atomic bombs. Very interesting!......it was.
Then we went to the concert!!!!!!! YEEEOOOOWWW!!!
Had some dinner at the buffet....again.
Went back to the hotel/casino. Gambled a bit more...lost more money, had some virgin drinks.....
Went to sleep. got up the next morning early!!! So we could get home for Jay to talk in sacrament meeting.
Location: I-80 Westbound
It was just the 2 of us. Riding along in the gold stratus that has served us well since is purchase. Wendover bound we were.....to go see a rock show. Some say, Wendover? I say, yes Wendover.
So there we were, on our way out to Wendover. A mini vacay. Seems to be the tradition we have for February. Last year we went to Ogden. Upgraded this year......:)
There is absolutely nothing on the way there after Tooele. A couple of signs that said there were supposedly towns.....but we saw NOTHING!!! We did see a big tree-like sculpture on the side of the road and alot of rocks in the sand professing that "Jesus loves me" or "J + A".....things like that. We listened to classic rock the whole way there and it was great fun.
We got there about 6:30, maybe a little earlier. Got checked in at the Rainbow. Our room was soooo funny! It looked like it hadnt been updated since the 80's. It was black zebra carpet, shiny red metallic drapes with an ugly design on the vallance. A wall of mirrors with black lacquered furniture. It was just like a po..... nevermind, it was ugly. Makes ya wanna say, bow chicka wow wow!!!
So we went down to get me fed. We ate at the rainforest buffet. It was a night called Seafood Extravaganza!!! They had crab legs, crab claws, prime rib, a whole bunch of different kinds of fish, all sorts of lucious meats, veggies, and fruits. It was tastey. I had cheesecake for dessert and everything else in between. Jay had a horn type thing with delicious cream in the middle for his dessert.
We gambled a little. We played the penny slots with $10 a piece. Didnt win anything...shucks. Then we went to bed after the casino smoke had given us both a headache.
The next morning Jay let me sleep in....like he always does. We got showered and ready to go after a breakfast of McDonalds. We decided that we would find me a swim suit so I could go swimming with Jay. No such luck, no walmart or anything!!! Then we drove around the town to see what it was like. The Utah side is really really depressing! Not a real house, not a one!!! Only trailers. Poor ghetto trailers. We did drive all around the old military base and learned about atomic bombs. Very interesting!......it was.
Then we went to the concert!!!!!!! YEEEOOOOWWW!!!
Had some dinner at the buffet....again.
Went back to the hotel/casino. Gambled a bit more...lost more money, had some virgin drinks.....
Went to sleep. got up the next morning early!!! So we could get home for Jay to talk in sacrament meeting.
SATIN SHIRTS...SKINNY TIES.....TIGHT PANTS.......AND VINTAGE GUITARS!!!
Yeeeeeeoowwwwwww!
Jay and I went to Wendover this last weekend.........to go see Styx! If you dont know who that band is, pull your head out!!! Its a very famous rock band from the 70's! They sing the song "Sail Away" and "Lady"(from the Underdog movie). And other songs like "Crystal ball" and many, many more.
They rocked so hard my ears were ringing 5 minutes into the show!
I am now in love with Tommy Shaw, one of the band members. I dont care if he's in his 50's and like a foot shorter than me! He's awesome!
K K K, the show was a blast! They have a keyboard player, Mr. Lawrence, who has one of those sweet rocker mullets and a keyboard that swivels around so he can dance around the stage and turn the piano thingy around in circles! It was rad! He, this semi-old rocker, from the 70's who hit it big before I was even born could pull off......get this people........a satin shirt, a pair of the tightest pants I have ever seen, and boots that had the toes curled up into this awesome silhouette of elfishness fashion! He was cool!
Styx is old, yes. But sooo sweet!
Tommy Shaw. Tommy Shaw.
Seems to me like Tommy Shaw is the leader of this little group. Hes a tiny little man with long blonde hair, a blonde goatee, and a wicked passion for his craft! This guy actually used more than one guitar per song. He had like 7 guitars, mostly vintage beautiful stuff. Gibson, I think.
You know what I think? I love the old stuff because the rock songs today are CRAP!!! Wheres the harmonies? Where are the actual bass lines? Do they even have lyrics that make sense?.....NO. N-O! ..........Styx, however, does.
Sweet, tight harmonies. A drummer that seriously broke a drum head. Tight pants running around the stage like crazy people. Guitars screaming over the harmonies of words that have come from someones soul. This is the best kind of music.....for me. The stuff I love the most!
People, go out and listen to some classic rock. Or something with a little substance. And if you get the chance to see a REAL ROCK BAND perform, by all means, do it!!!
Jay and I went to Wendover this last weekend.........to go see Styx! If you dont know who that band is, pull your head out!!! Its a very famous rock band from the 70's! They sing the song "Sail Away" and "Lady"(from the Underdog movie). And other songs like "Crystal ball" and many, many more.
They rocked so hard my ears were ringing 5 minutes into the show!
I am now in love with Tommy Shaw, one of the band members. I dont care if he's in his 50's and like a foot shorter than me! He's awesome!
K K K, the show was a blast! They have a keyboard player, Mr. Lawrence, who has one of those sweet rocker mullets and a keyboard that swivels around so he can dance around the stage and turn the piano thingy around in circles! It was rad! He, this semi-old rocker, from the 70's who hit it big before I was even born could pull off......get this people........a satin shirt, a pair of the tightest pants I have ever seen, and boots that had the toes curled up into this awesome silhouette of elfishness fashion! He was cool!
Styx is old, yes. But sooo sweet!
Tommy Shaw. Tommy Shaw.
Seems to me like Tommy Shaw is the leader of this little group. Hes a tiny little man with long blonde hair, a blonde goatee, and a wicked passion for his craft! This guy actually used more than one guitar per song. He had like 7 guitars, mostly vintage beautiful stuff. Gibson, I think.
You know what I think? I love the old stuff because the rock songs today are CRAP!!! Wheres the harmonies? Where are the actual bass lines? Do they even have lyrics that make sense?.....NO. N-O! ..........Styx, however, does.
Sweet, tight harmonies. A drummer that seriously broke a drum head. Tight pants running around the stage like crazy people. Guitars screaming over the harmonies of words that have come from someones soul. This is the best kind of music.....for me. The stuff I love the most!
People, go out and listen to some classic rock. Or something with a little substance. And if you get the chance to see a REAL ROCK BAND perform, by all means, do it!!!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Aerial needs to learn to stick to her guns!!!
I am not a push over by any means of the word. But I do change my mind alot!!! My poor Jay has to deal with my "flakiness" on a daily manner, and I'm sure it isnt fun for him. I just cant make up my mind.....about anything anymore.
Just a little preface to this blogs subject. I have an anxiety disorder and dont deal with it in a healthy way....all the time. Sometimes I just let it go and wig-the-freak-out! I havent had a melt down in about a year. But I have started having panic attacks more frequently lately.
Anyway, I just recently found out what I want to be when I grow up. Actually I've known for a long time but have had some life experiences that have put a kink in the "Aerial master plan". When I was in high school all my friends wanted to be nurses. I wanted to be a teacher. It got flipped around for a while. I am thinking that I am quitting nursing school and going in education now, seriously. SERIOUSLY!!!
I wrote this big long blog about how I have found my passion and to follow your bliss, blah blah blah. Then I went back to wanting to be a nurse for a month or so, now I am back to wanting to be a teacher. What is wrong with me?
I know exactly whats wrong with me. The money is alluring, very very enticing. If I have done my homework correctly, a teacher makes about 32,000 a year........well, a nurse right out of school with only an associates degree makes about 45,000-50,000. Thats a big gap! Plus, to be teacher, I have to get my bachelors instead of being done with an associates. uhhh the money is soooo tempting.
But here's the problem my friends. I would not make a good nurse. I would be able to make myself into a good nurse but its not a natural thing to me. Also, I am getting so sick of working nights and weekends. I hate working graveyards and holidays.
This nursing stuff totally stresses me out. I think I have become so numb to the fact that I dont really enjoy this and I'm masking how I truly feel is where the panic attacks are coming into play. This job is a constant state of stress and anxiety for me. At any moment something bad could happen, someone could not like the care you give them and tell the boss. Then you get the phone call for a totally stupid thing,like not rubbing someones dirty gross feet. Yessss, people have asked me to rub their feet and put lotion on their icky backs and stuff. eweee!
Dont get me wrong, this J-O-B has its good things too. There is nothing like someone sincerely thanking you for making their life a little better. That seems to keep me going.
Well, enough complaining from me. I have changed my major, almost officially. I just have to go to school and do it with the college. But here I go again, back to being a teacher. Its really the best thing for me and my family. Its no money, barely even a pay raise for 3 more years of school but the rewards will be great, i just know it.
Just a little preface to this blogs subject. I have an anxiety disorder and dont deal with it in a healthy way....all the time. Sometimes I just let it go and wig-the-freak-out! I havent had a melt down in about a year. But I have started having panic attacks more frequently lately.
Anyway, I just recently found out what I want to be when I grow up. Actually I've known for a long time but have had some life experiences that have put a kink in the "Aerial master plan". When I was in high school all my friends wanted to be nurses. I wanted to be a teacher. It got flipped around for a while. I am thinking that I am quitting nursing school and going in education now, seriously. SERIOUSLY!!!
I wrote this big long blog about how I have found my passion and to follow your bliss, blah blah blah. Then I went back to wanting to be a nurse for a month or so, now I am back to wanting to be a teacher. What is wrong with me?
I know exactly whats wrong with me. The money is alluring, very very enticing. If I have done my homework correctly, a teacher makes about 32,000 a year........well, a nurse right out of school with only an associates degree makes about 45,000-50,000. Thats a big gap! Plus, to be teacher, I have to get my bachelors instead of being done with an associates. uhhh the money is soooo tempting.
But here's the problem my friends. I would not make a good nurse. I would be able to make myself into a good nurse but its not a natural thing to me. Also, I am getting so sick of working nights and weekends. I hate working graveyards and holidays.
This nursing stuff totally stresses me out. I think I have become so numb to the fact that I dont really enjoy this and I'm masking how I truly feel is where the panic attacks are coming into play. This job is a constant state of stress and anxiety for me. At any moment something bad could happen, someone could not like the care you give them and tell the boss. Then you get the phone call for a totally stupid thing,like not rubbing someones dirty gross feet. Yessss, people have asked me to rub their feet and put lotion on their icky backs and stuff. eweee!
Dont get me wrong, this J-O-B has its good things too. There is nothing like someone sincerely thanking you for making their life a little better. That seems to keep me going.
Well, enough complaining from me. I have changed my major, almost officially. I just have to go to school and do it with the college. But here I go again, back to being a teacher. Its really the best thing for me and my family. Its no money, barely even a pay raise for 3 more years of school but the rewards will be great, i just know it.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
For your enjoyment
I have kleptomania,but when it gets bad,I take something for it.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Heaven is Where:The Police are British,The Chefs are Italian,The Mechanics are German,The Lovers are French and It's all organized by the Swiss. Hell is Where:The Police are German,The Chefs are British,The Mechanics are French,The Lovers are Swiss andIt's all organized by the Italians.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Welcome to Utah!Set your watch back 20 years.
In just two days from now,tomorrow will be yesterday.
A bartender is just a pharmacistwith a limited inventory
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
I may be schizophrenic,but at least I have each other.
I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.
KENTUCKY:Five million people,Fifteen last names.
I'm not your type.I'm not inflatable.
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
In Memoriam
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Preserve the Spotted Owl(in formaldehyde)
When you work here,you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred".
money isn't everything,but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I like cats too.Let's exchange recipes.
Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
I am having an out-of-money experience.
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate.
Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Heaven is Where:The Police are British,The Chefs are Italian,The Mechanics are German,The Lovers are French and It's all organized by the Swiss. Hell is Where:The Police are German,The Chefs are British,The Mechanics are French,The Lovers are Swiss andIt's all organized by the Italians.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Welcome to Utah!Set your watch back 20 years.
In just two days from now,tomorrow will be yesterday.
A bartender is just a pharmacistwith a limited inventory
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
I may be schizophrenic,but at least I have each other.
I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.
KENTUCKY:Five million people,Fifteen last names.
I'm not your type.I'm not inflatable.
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
In Memoriam
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Preserve the Spotted Owl(in formaldehyde)
When you work here,you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred".
money isn't everything,but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I like cats too.Let's exchange recipes.
Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
I am having an out-of-money experience.
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate.
Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Monday, February 9, 2009
old man stink.....how do you get it away? uhhh
Just a little update on the moving to our OWN house thing. The inspection was done and it went well. We figured it would have some work to put into it but nothing a hammer, some money, and some love wont fix.
It doesnt have a basement but it has this wierd creepy crawl space thing with a wooden ladder going down into this pit-like hole under our house........i can just imagine all the spiders hanging out down there. Hope I dont get nightmares from the "pit" in our kitchen leading to the dank underground.......it might be a good place to hide if ever needed.....just sayin'.
We're waiting for the appraisal to be done. All the real estate people said we should be fine and nothing else should pop up. I hope, 'cause its been alot of money to purchase this house already, and its technically not ours yet.
We still have to wait for the loan to go through and all financial stuff is the only thing to be done. The mortgage brocker(brocher) said everything is going well so far. We were pre-approved a while ago by the same guy, so it should go well right?
But heres the thing, its an old house and an old man lived in it. It deffinately needs to be painted and updated BAD!!! How do you get the old man stink out?
It doesnt have a basement but it has this wierd creepy crawl space thing with a wooden ladder going down into this pit-like hole under our house........i can just imagine all the spiders hanging out down there. Hope I dont get nightmares from the "pit" in our kitchen leading to the dank underground.......it might be a good place to hide if ever needed.....just sayin'.
We're waiting for the appraisal to be done. All the real estate people said we should be fine and nothing else should pop up. I hope, 'cause its been alot of money to purchase this house already, and its technically not ours yet.
We still have to wait for the loan to go through and all financial stuff is the only thing to be done. The mortgage brocker(brocher) said everything is going well so far. We were pre-approved a while ago by the same guy, so it should go well right?
But heres the thing, its an old house and an old man lived in it. It deffinately needs to be painted and updated BAD!!! How do you get the old man stink out?
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Hamburger remorse
Yes, there is such a thing as hamburger remorse. We went to Arctic Circle for food before I had to go to work today. By the way, Arctic Circle is so delicious! What is that sauce they put on the lucious patties? mmmm
Anyway, now I have hamburger remorse. I am remorseful, should I repent from this aweful dietary guilt? I should repent because we went to AC on a Sunday. I cant seem to help having those knock out cravings!!! uhhh
But it was sooo good. I even got it on my face. Imagine a chubby girl almost making love to this greasy deliciousness. Caressing the bun(haaa no punn intended), licking the dripping delectabilty from each finger like it was the end of something really good that was never going to happen again. It was pretty R rated in my mind. Oh Jay, if you were a hamburger we'd be in trouble!!!
It was calling to me with its sweet song. "Aerial(all etherial like), Aerial". Beckoning me to come hither. Glistening in its shiny glory. "Aerial, you know you want me." How could you refuse a talking delicious hamburger?
After it was all said and done there came the guilt. dun dun dun! Caught red handed like a child pocketing gum at the grocery store checkout. Wide-eyed and in horror I asked myself "what did you just do"? Did you actually relate eating a hamburger to sex, like some crazy addicted freak? Yes I did people. It was that good...............(glazed eyes, oh yeah).........
Anywho, back to the guilt. After wolfing down the fries,drink, and a brown topper w/ nuts I felt pretty guilty. I'm supposed to be on a diet.....kindof....... My throat got tight and I felt like I was going to barf. The sexy hamburger was now sitting at the bottom of my stomach like a rock. A sinful, dirty rock. Then I got to work and saw all the pretty bimbo nurses. You know, the bleached blonde, rock climbing, beautiful, educated woman--pretty nurses. How am I ever going to be a bleached blonde bimbo if I keep wolfing sexy food?
So now I have hamburger remorse.
Anyway, now I have hamburger remorse. I am remorseful, should I repent from this aweful dietary guilt? I should repent because we went to AC on a Sunday. I cant seem to help having those knock out cravings!!! uhhh
But it was sooo good. I even got it on my face. Imagine a chubby girl almost making love to this greasy deliciousness. Caressing the bun(haaa no punn intended), licking the dripping delectabilty from each finger like it was the end of something really good that was never going to happen again. It was pretty R rated in my mind. Oh Jay, if you were a hamburger we'd be in trouble!!!
It was calling to me with its sweet song. "Aerial(all etherial like), Aerial". Beckoning me to come hither. Glistening in its shiny glory. "Aerial, you know you want me." How could you refuse a talking delicious hamburger?
After it was all said and done there came the guilt. dun dun dun! Caught red handed like a child pocketing gum at the grocery store checkout. Wide-eyed and in horror I asked myself "what did you just do"? Did you actually relate eating a hamburger to sex, like some crazy addicted freak? Yes I did people. It was that good...............(glazed eyes, oh yeah).........
Anywho, back to the guilt. After wolfing down the fries,drink, and a brown topper w/ nuts I felt pretty guilty. I'm supposed to be on a diet.....kindof....... My throat got tight and I felt like I was going to barf. The sexy hamburger was now sitting at the bottom of my stomach like a rock. A sinful, dirty rock. Then I got to work and saw all the pretty bimbo nurses. You know, the bleached blonde, rock climbing, beautiful, educated woman--pretty nurses. How am I ever going to be a bleached blonde bimbo if I keep wolfing sexy food?
So now I have hamburger remorse.
betcha didnt know this about me!
I have no good ideas about what to write about. Heres a survey I stole......thanks!!!
1. What is your best friends name? Carrie and Jay
2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now? white
3. What are you listening to right now? nothing
4. Whats your favorite number? 3 or 6(which is a multiple of 3)
5. What was the last thing you ate? meatball sub mmmmmmmmmmmm
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? pink
7. How is the weather right now? dont know, encased in a concrete building
8. Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone? jay
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? hair and teeth, now its jays legs and eyes
10. Do you have a significant other? yes, i very well should have, being married and all
11. Favorite TV show? I really like HGTV
12. Siblings? just one, a sister
13. Height? 5'7" at the very tallest
14. Hair color? brown
15. Eye Color? blue green with wierd yellow specks
16. Do you wear contacts? not in a long time
17. Favorite Holiday? 4th of july
18. Month? june
19. Have you ever cried for no reason? frequently
20. What was the last movie you watched? cant recall
21. Favorite Day of the Year? Every day!!!........that I dont work
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? nope never was,just when it came to one person in junior high and high school and then he made me so nervous I couldnt even be in the same room with him.....you all know who it was;)
23. Can you do a headstand? sort of, probly not now though
24. Hugs or Kisses? love both especially from my kids!!!
25. Chocolate or Vanilla? both!!! How about vanilla with chocolate on it
26. Do you want your friends to respond to this? if they want to
27. Who is most likely to respond? no clue
28. Who is least likely to respond? ditto
29. What books are you reading? The host and text books about nutrition
30. Piercings? 2 in each ear
31. Favorite movies? I have alot but i mostly like comedies
32. Favorite football Team? whichever ones are wearing those hot pants................hotnessssss
33. what were u doing before this? talking to work friends
34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? not really down with popcorn......buttered if i have nothing else to eat
35.Ever done something you regret? yeah
36. Any emberassing moments? my whole teenage life was an emberassing moment
37. Dogs or cats? both are fine
38. Favorite flower? Lillies, sterling roses, and gerber daisies
39. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do? frequently
40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex? mu hubs
41. Have you ever loved someone? to the depth of my core
42. Who would you like to see right now? My bed!!!!!!!
43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten? no
44. Have you ever fired a gun? yes, a couple
45. Do you like to travel by plane? its ok if i dont get motion sick
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right handed
47. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1 but when jay leaves for work i usually steal his
48. Are you missing someone? not at the moment
49. Do you have a Tattoo? think I want one though
50. Anybody that you know that you'd go on a date with? the hubs duhhh;)
1. What is your best friends name? Carrie and Jay
2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now? white
3. What are you listening to right now? nothing
4. Whats your favorite number? 3 or 6(which is a multiple of 3)
5. What was the last thing you ate? meatball sub mmmmmmmmmmmm
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? pink
7. How is the weather right now? dont know, encased in a concrete building
8. Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone? jay
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? hair and teeth, now its jays legs and eyes
10. Do you have a significant other? yes, i very well should have, being married and all
11. Favorite TV show? I really like HGTV
12. Siblings? just one, a sister
13. Height? 5'7" at the very tallest
14. Hair color? brown
15. Eye Color? blue green with wierd yellow specks
16. Do you wear contacts? not in a long time
17. Favorite Holiday? 4th of july
18. Month? june
19. Have you ever cried for no reason? frequently
20. What was the last movie you watched? cant recall
21. Favorite Day of the Year? Every day!!!........that I dont work
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? nope never was,just when it came to one person in junior high and high school and then he made me so nervous I couldnt even be in the same room with him.....you all know who it was;)
23. Can you do a headstand? sort of, probly not now though
24. Hugs or Kisses? love both especially from my kids!!!
25. Chocolate or Vanilla? both!!! How about vanilla with chocolate on it
26. Do you want your friends to respond to this? if they want to
27. Who is most likely to respond? no clue
28. Who is least likely to respond? ditto
29. What books are you reading? The host and text books about nutrition
30. Piercings? 2 in each ear
31. Favorite movies? I have alot but i mostly like comedies
32. Favorite football Team? whichever ones are wearing those hot pants................hotnessssss
33. what were u doing before this? talking to work friends
34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? not really down with popcorn......buttered if i have nothing else to eat
35.Ever done something you regret? yeah
36. Any emberassing moments? my whole teenage life was an emberassing moment
37. Dogs or cats? both are fine
38. Favorite flower? Lillies, sterling roses, and gerber daisies
39. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do? frequently
40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex? mu hubs
41. Have you ever loved someone? to the depth of my core
42. Who would you like to see right now? My bed!!!!!!!
43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten? no
44. Have you ever fired a gun? yes, a couple
45. Do you like to travel by plane? its ok if i dont get motion sick
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right handed
47. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1 but when jay leaves for work i usually steal his
48. Are you missing someone? not at the moment
49. Do you have a Tattoo? think I want one though
50. Anybody that you know that you'd go on a date with? the hubs duhhh;)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
I'm so mad I could spit!!!
Well, I was going to tell a story tonight about my rambuncious teenage past but a patient just cheesed me off!!!
I will tell the awesome story another night. But for now I will vent and rant about this lady until I feel better.
This lady has been here a few times in the year I have worked up here. She is what we call a frequent flyer. She's like 5 foot 2 and about 450 pounds. She has major problems with her legs and feet.....she also lives with her cats if that tells you anything. So shes a pain in the butt to move around!!! It takes 3 of us to move her!
uhhhhhh shes also way tooooo educated(supposedly) about this hospital stuff. Ok, she fell asleep almost falling off the bed but instructed us in a very rude way not to wake her up. So i didnt. She wasnt going to fall out of bed either, she was fine, just askew. She didnt have any of her monitors on when she fell asleep but she is completely stable and didnt need them. So she didnt get woken up just to put a clip on her finger.
BAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!! She blew up about 3 hours later. She, lets call her Fanny(haaaaaa lol), wanted to know why she didnt have any monitors on. Uhhhhhhh derrr uhhh I dunno, cuz yer stable. Us dumb folk that run this here treatin place dont know any better. I guess you do though.
Hello Fanny! Who has spent the last 7 years of her life dedicating her time and energy to GIVING to people like you? I have spent alot of time and money on my education not to mention pain staking hours at work and sacrifice for your well being! I have been trained, upon trained, upon trained, to do what I do. Not to mention the nurses who have even more specialized training, which I am acquiring right now, to help your sorry butt. I know you didnt go to college, because you told me. I know you dont have any formal training,because you told me. So who do you think is better qualified to decide whether you should have a monitor on your finger?
The nurse! who is the person I am working under.
Fanny, why are you like this? Why do you feel the need to cut everyone down and try to make everyone feel stupid and threaten us with our jobs? Youre not giving me any reason to be compassionate towards you, but I am. You dont give any thanks or accolades but I respond to you in a loving manner anyway.
I'm not mad anymore. Just needed to vent I guess. But Fanny, if you ever find it in your heart to give a thanks to the staff that is working hard to keep you healthy and ALIVE do it. I dont need to hear it or even know that its somewhere inside you. I am aware that this is a thankless job. I signed up for it, I'll deal with it.
I will tell the awesome story another night. But for now I will vent and rant about this lady until I feel better.
This lady has been here a few times in the year I have worked up here. She is what we call a frequent flyer. She's like 5 foot 2 and about 450 pounds. She has major problems with her legs and feet.....she also lives with her cats if that tells you anything. So shes a pain in the butt to move around!!! It takes 3 of us to move her!
uhhhhhh shes also way tooooo educated(supposedly) about this hospital stuff. Ok, she fell asleep almost falling off the bed but instructed us in a very rude way not to wake her up. So i didnt. She wasnt going to fall out of bed either, she was fine, just askew. She didnt have any of her monitors on when she fell asleep but she is completely stable and didnt need them. So she didnt get woken up just to put a clip on her finger.
BAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!! She blew up about 3 hours later. She, lets call her Fanny(haaaaaa lol), wanted to know why she didnt have any monitors on. Uhhhhhhh derrr uhhh I dunno, cuz yer stable. Us dumb folk that run this here treatin place dont know any better. I guess you do though.
Hello Fanny! Who has spent the last 7 years of her life dedicating her time and energy to GIVING to people like you? I have spent alot of time and money on my education not to mention pain staking hours at work and sacrifice for your well being! I have been trained, upon trained, upon trained, to do what I do. Not to mention the nurses who have even more specialized training, which I am acquiring right now, to help your sorry butt. I know you didnt go to college, because you told me. I know you dont have any formal training,because you told me. So who do you think is better qualified to decide whether you should have a monitor on your finger?
The nurse! who is the person I am working under.
Fanny, why are you like this? Why do you feel the need to cut everyone down and try to make everyone feel stupid and threaten us with our jobs? Youre not giving me any reason to be compassionate towards you, but I am. You dont give any thanks or accolades but I respond to you in a loving manner anyway.
I'm not mad anymore. Just needed to vent I guess. But Fanny, if you ever find it in your heart to give a thanks to the staff that is working hard to keep you healthy and ALIVE do it. I dont need to hear it or even know that its somewhere inside you. I am aware that this is a thankless job. I signed up for it, I'll deal with it.
Friday, February 6, 2009
25 random things about me
25 random things about me
1. my middle name is Alexis and I hated for the longest time the name my mom calls me......Lexi Loo
2. I have a son and a daughter
3. I secretly love my job
4. I didnt cut my hair until after I got married because I was afraid I was never going to get married if I didnt have long hair.......thanks mom and dad
5. I have had 2 lesbians have major crushes on me..........both of whom were dance partners at castleview.......one even tried to kiss me when we went to california
6.I miss clogging really really really bad!!!
7. My husband is my hero
8. I have abirth mark on my leg that looks like Texas
9. I'm a gastronome, not a foodie
10. My philosophy on life is: I can have anything I want as long as I work hard for it, but sometimes I shouldnt have the things I want
11. I would never eat the birthday treats in elementary school. I would bring them home because I was afraid they would have poison in them until after my mom told me it was ok to eat them
12. I have a major phobia of water
13.My favorite color is pink
14. I am a jealouse wife......back away girls hes mine!!!
15. I secretly admire my hubs kind eyes when hes sleeping
16. I am totally in love with my kids
17. I am a career woman, but I want to be a stay at home mom too
18. Every goal I have set in life, I have achieved........in on eway or another.......I'm no stranger to defeat though and I deffinately know whats it like to be humbled too
19. I dance in the shower
20. I wish I was athletic......like a rock climber or something
21. I love Spongebob Squarepants
22. I want a tattoo and a motorcycle
23. Jay likes Coke and I like Pepsi
24. I am now addicted to Facebook and blogging
25. I get borred easily!!!
1. my middle name is Alexis and I hated for the longest time the name my mom calls me......Lexi Loo
2. I have a son and a daughter
3. I secretly love my job
4. I didnt cut my hair until after I got married because I was afraid I was never going to get married if I didnt have long hair.......thanks mom and dad
5. I have had 2 lesbians have major crushes on me..........both of whom were dance partners at castleview.......one even tried to kiss me when we went to california
6.I miss clogging really really really bad!!!
7. My husband is my hero
8. I have abirth mark on my leg that looks like Texas
9. I'm a gastronome, not a foodie
10. My philosophy on life is: I can have anything I want as long as I work hard for it, but sometimes I shouldnt have the things I want
11. I would never eat the birthday treats in elementary school. I would bring them home because I was afraid they would have poison in them until after my mom told me it was ok to eat them
12. I have a major phobia of water
13.My favorite color is pink
14. I am a jealouse wife......back away girls hes mine!!!
15. I secretly admire my hubs kind eyes when hes sleeping
16. I am totally in love with my kids
17. I am a career woman, but I want to be a stay at home mom too
18. Every goal I have set in life, I have achieved........in on eway or another.......I'm no stranger to defeat though and I deffinately know whats it like to be humbled too
19. I dance in the shower
20. I wish I was athletic......like a rock climber or something
21. I love Spongebob Squarepants
22. I want a tattoo and a motorcycle
23. Jay likes Coke and I like Pepsi
24. I am now addicted to Facebook and blogging
25. I get borred easily!!!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Finally Aerial!!!! Get with the times!!!
After reading and deciding to follow blogs (I stole the links from Criste, thanks honey!!!) I should make a 2008 review. Like everyone else:)
2008 for my little clan is as follows:
January
We met Amber for the first time and decided we would keep her......and make Tom marry her so we can teach her in the ways of webster-ness ;) I started my first semester of school....again. Moved up to the med/surg floor of the hospital. I had my very first "real" haircut and chopped 3 feet of hair off my head. AHHHH it was a shock! But I loved it! What a cleansing that was!
February
Jay and I decided we needed a MUCH needed vacaaaa, so we planned on the spur of the moment, a little trip to Ogden. I got flowers for Valentines day(beautiful roses). And the kids grew a little more...
March
Dont remember much of March. We took my little sister, Ashley, to dinner for her birthday.
April
It was Gage's birthday this month. We took him to the Mayan and had a little party at my moms house, where Gage cut his giant cupcake cake with a ninja turtle sword. Sooo funny! I also had a nervous breakdown about school......well kinda, just stressed to the maxxx! Jay got his CNA. It was moms b-day too.
May
I passed all my classes with passing grades.....
June
June is my favorite month. Jays birthday was this month. We had a full week that week. Carolin and her family came up from New Harmony to see my cousin Ryan off to basic training. We had a big family dinner at Tepan Yaki, that was really fun! I caught a shrimp in my mouth! But it was sad to see how hard it was for everyone to see Ryan go away to the army.
On Jays b-day we had BBQ at our house. It was a good time. We also went to Westfest at the end of the month. Its one of my favorite family traditions. I love to see how excited the kids get when they see the fireworks at night. I just love how Gage gets so excited about everything. What a joy it is for me just to see the sheer/pure excitement of my children.
July
Dads b-day was this month. The 4th is always fun.....I ended up working and wasnt happy about it.
August
MacKelty had her first birthday this month. She got her ears pierced and got her very own strawberry cake. Summer vacay is over, back to school for me.
September
Nothing exciting this month. Wait a sec! Jay started working for IHC. Thats been such a blessing for our family.
October
We had much fun on Halloween!!! Jay unfortunately, had to work. My parents dressed up as scarecrows, MacKelty was a bumble bee!!! Gage was Aniken Skywalker, and I guess Jay and I were CNAs.....we both just had scrubs on....boo! I suck!
November
I had a hissy fit on my birthday. Sorry Jay, I love you. Thanksgiving was at my house!!! I made a turkey, with Jays help. Didnt know I needed a meat thermometer.....so it turned out dry:(
December
Andrea visited. X-mas was fantastic!!!
So it was a pretty great year! Geez it goes soooo fast. My babies are growing up. tear..... But what an amazing thing to behold. To have the blessing of watching my own children grow will far surpass anything worldly.
2008 for my little clan is as follows:
January
We met Amber for the first time and decided we would keep her......and make Tom marry her so we can teach her in the ways of webster-ness ;) I started my first semester of school....again. Moved up to the med/surg floor of the hospital. I had my very first "real" haircut and chopped 3 feet of hair off my head. AHHHH it was a shock! But I loved it! What a cleansing that was!
February
Jay and I decided we needed a MUCH needed vacaaaa, so we planned on the spur of the moment, a little trip to Ogden. I got flowers for Valentines day(beautiful roses). And the kids grew a little more...
March
Dont remember much of March. We took my little sister, Ashley, to dinner for her birthday.
April
It was Gage's birthday this month. We took him to the Mayan and had a little party at my moms house, where Gage cut his giant cupcake cake with a ninja turtle sword. Sooo funny! I also had a nervous breakdown about school......well kinda, just stressed to the maxxx! Jay got his CNA. It was moms b-day too.
May
I passed all my classes with passing grades.....
June
June is my favorite month. Jays birthday was this month. We had a full week that week. Carolin and her family came up from New Harmony to see my cousin Ryan off to basic training. We had a big family dinner at Tepan Yaki, that was really fun! I caught a shrimp in my mouth! But it was sad to see how hard it was for everyone to see Ryan go away to the army.
On Jays b-day we had BBQ at our house. It was a good time. We also went to Westfest at the end of the month. Its one of my favorite family traditions. I love to see how excited the kids get when they see the fireworks at night. I just love how Gage gets so excited about everything. What a joy it is for me just to see the sheer/pure excitement of my children.
July
Dads b-day was this month. The 4th is always fun.....I ended up working and wasnt happy about it.
August
MacKelty had her first birthday this month. She got her ears pierced and got her very own strawberry cake. Summer vacay is over, back to school for me.
September
Nothing exciting this month. Wait a sec! Jay started working for IHC. Thats been such a blessing for our family.
October
We had much fun on Halloween!!! Jay unfortunately, had to work. My parents dressed up as scarecrows, MacKelty was a bumble bee!!! Gage was Aniken Skywalker, and I guess Jay and I were CNAs.....we both just had scrubs on....boo! I suck!
November
I had a hissy fit on my birthday. Sorry Jay, I love you. Thanksgiving was at my house!!! I made a turkey, with Jays help. Didnt know I needed a meat thermometer.....so it turned out dry:(
December
Andrea visited. X-mas was fantastic!!!
So it was a pretty great year! Geez it goes soooo fast. My babies are growing up. tear..... But what an amazing thing to behold. To have the blessing of watching my own children grow will far surpass anything worldly.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Ok, I blog when I'm at work. I'm really starting to enjoy this being able to get my feelings out and somewhere other than in my head polluting my emotions.
What to write about today?......nothing big has happened other than i got called off at 4am this morning and was able to go home early. Thats nice when it happens because then i can see family a little bit longer. I was supposed to be on call tonight but got called in at like 6:30. No biggie, its extra money when i get called in. the patients are good tonight, nothing out of the ordinary. no needy people.....good leave me alone!;)
The kids are doing great! theyre both just getting so big! Gage is innunciating everything perfectly now. its so cute how kids reason. gage is now liking to have conversations rather than being wrapped up in tv all the time. what a handsome boy too! I'll get some pics up soon. MacKelty is such a little love bug. She's my cuddly kid. It warms my just to be near them. Both of them have the most gorgeous faces anyone has ever seen! Theyre beautiful kids! no really, they are so cute!
This may sound weird but they are soooooo much cuter when they have their hair done. is that weird? Gage look so good lookin when his hair is all gelled up and spikey. And keltys hair is long enough to have pigtails and little barrets in it! uhhhh I cant get enough of them!.....my little toe heads!
Speaking of another toe head.......jay. he's the sexiest man on earth! it was an incredibly good day with the family today. All we did was go to look at another house and had lunch at my favorite restaurant, el habanero, in magna. Then we came home and watched tv for a bit but decided we should go to sams club and get some food. My husband is the best man I have ever seen! Hes active in the church, and what a rock! But i can tell, he loves me with everything he has. I love him more than life itself too. What other man would sacrifice his time and energy to work 2 jobs and go to school?.....mine does. And what a good one.
What to write about today?......nothing big has happened other than i got called off at 4am this morning and was able to go home early. Thats nice when it happens because then i can see family a little bit longer. I was supposed to be on call tonight but got called in at like 6:30. No biggie, its extra money when i get called in. the patients are good tonight, nothing out of the ordinary. no needy people.....good leave me alone!;)
The kids are doing great! theyre both just getting so big! Gage is innunciating everything perfectly now. its so cute how kids reason. gage is now liking to have conversations rather than being wrapped up in tv all the time. what a handsome boy too! I'll get some pics up soon. MacKelty is such a little love bug. She's my cuddly kid. It warms my just to be near them. Both of them have the most gorgeous faces anyone has ever seen! Theyre beautiful kids! no really, they are so cute!
This may sound weird but they are soooooo much cuter when they have their hair done. is that weird? Gage look so good lookin when his hair is all gelled up and spikey. And keltys hair is long enough to have pigtails and little barrets in it! uhhhh I cant get enough of them!.....my little toe heads!
Speaking of another toe head.......jay. he's the sexiest man on earth! it was an incredibly good day with the family today. All we did was go to look at another house and had lunch at my favorite restaurant, el habanero, in magna. Then we came home and watched tv for a bit but decided we should go to sams club and get some food. My husband is the best man I have ever seen! Hes active in the church, and what a rock! But i can tell, he loves me with everything he has. I love him more than life itself too. What other man would sacrifice his time and energy to work 2 jobs and go to school?.....mine does. And what a good one.
the weirdest phone call ever!!!
ok, I'm still at work but i just got a phone call from a 17 year old boy who had some interesting questions. He beat around the bush(no pun intended) for like 5 minutes asking me about puberty. Then he finally let it out, he wanted to know if his penis was abnormally small. He gave me the dimensions: he said, fully erect he was 3 inches long and about the size of a nickle around. Holy cheese batman! Can we say teeny weeny!
Thats weird! I was trying to figure out if he was pranking me. Then I tried to give him the best advice that I could. I told him to go to planned parenthood or a free clinic. Get some help man! You deffinately have a condition! If you dont, I feel bad for you.
But the weird thing is, he was starting to ask weird things like "do YOU think its small?" and "have you ever seen one like this or heard of anything like this(penis)?" AND THEN he was aking about sexual performance and how his girlfriends said they thought it was weird too.
UHHHHHHH I am so paranoid! I'm not supposed to give medical advice over the phone, no one is that works in a hospital. But I was trying to help by listening to his rambling or should I say, his freaking out about his teeny weeny. I talked to him like he was a little brother or something like that. And I offered my personal opinion and I did. Maybe that was where I went wrong? But here is where I am so paranoid. I didnt get this young mans phone number but I noticed that the zip code was 516 and he did say that he was from Florida. I know he was on a cell phone because it kept cutting out. I must be really tired! Did the hospital record that convo? And are they going to fire me over a frank discussion about a penis with a 17 year old boy? Maybe.
Sooooo weird!
Thats weird! I was trying to figure out if he was pranking me. Then I tried to give him the best advice that I could. I told him to go to planned parenthood or a free clinic. Get some help man! You deffinately have a condition! If you dont, I feel bad for you.
But the weird thing is, he was starting to ask weird things like "do YOU think its small?" and "have you ever seen one like this or heard of anything like this(penis)?" AND THEN he was aking about sexual performance and how his girlfriends said they thought it was weird too.
UHHHHHHH I am so paranoid! I'm not supposed to give medical advice over the phone, no one is that works in a hospital. But I was trying to help by listening to his rambling or should I say, his freaking out about his teeny weeny. I talked to him like he was a little brother or something like that. And I offered my personal opinion and I did. Maybe that was where I went wrong? But here is where I am so paranoid. I didnt get this young mans phone number but I noticed that the zip code was 516 and he did say that he was from Florida. I know he was on a cell phone because it kept cutting out. I must be really tired! Did the hospital record that convo? And are they going to fire me over a frank discussion about a penis with a 17 year old boy? Maybe.
Sooooo weird!
Friday, January 23, 2009
mindless meandering/who are real friends?
i am at work. let me tell you a little about my job. i know i seem to talk about this stuff quite often but its one of the main things in my life, so bear with me.
My official title WAS obstetrics-surgical technologist, then is WAS a financial counselor/master scheduler-EMT for the emergency room, NOW i am a CNA/scrub tech/er tech/tele tech/security guard( why the heck is it my responsibility to watch if the crazy folks get out?)/clerk/do everything person. There you have it, that is what i do at work.
I was dreading coming up to the 3rd floor. The 3rd floor is the med/surg floor of this hospital. Which means you will be swimming in poop and blood. Now keep in mind i came from the blessed bliss of babies being born to the awesome adrenaline of the ER........to....poop. Yup, poop.
Does anyone know what the substance Golytely(go-lightly) is? Let me tell you what this evil horrid mess of a substance is. Its a colonoscopy prep that makes you literally poop your brains out! Once you drink this evil juice you will then live life on the toilet until it all runs through your system.
Anyone ever do a colon cleanse? Yeah, its a million times worse!!! It will take everything in the GI tract and extract it through the anus into the toilet or sometimes in my experience, the bed, the wall, the tub and anywhere else you can think of. Its true people I have found poop on the ceiling and in the tub before.......GROSSS!!!
Why, for heavens sakes why?! Why cant these morons of people sit on the freaking toilet! Now...when you are given the stuff most nurses will WARN the patient that it might become explosive and to be very close to the bathroom or on the pot for the durration of poop expelling process. Why cant these numbskulls understand that? Because.....they want to watch people like me clean their shit? i dont get it. do people actually want their hynies wiped by disdainful,rage filled healthcare personell? Whats the fun in that?...not fun for me. Is it fun for the people being wiped?......dont answer that question.
What else is interesting in my line of work? Or rather, what else can I complain about? Oh yes, why do people become babies when they come into an inpatient setting in the hospital? I have seen grown men act like complete idiots when they have to have an IV placed. Its not that big of a deal!!! If you want to see a big deal ask for a 10 gage needle. Or better than that, ask for something thats actually a big deal like, get a bonesaw to amputate a limb. I guarantee a nurse can make it so much more painful in a fraction of a second.
Ive seen some really crazy stuff like gangrenous toes and various body parts, majorly infected stumps from amputation, explosive diarrhea, ive seen people vomit curdled blood and expell it from my favorite orrifice.....the rear end. Trust me, all the afformentioned infections and illnesses have a distinct pungeant odor that you do not want to have in your nose. Have you ever had anything actually sting your sinus cavity because it smelled so bad?
Ive seen and done some scary things. I had a lady squat right in front of me in the er lobby and pop out a baby in her pants. Ive seen people die. Ive done compressions on a person until i floated their stirnum and broke most of their ribs. i watched a nurse reach her hand into a woman up to her elbow to save a babys life. Crazy things happen all the time around here. I'll post some of the stories of the life and times at pioneer valley hospital later tonight if i get time.
happy reading!
My official title WAS obstetrics-surgical technologist, then is WAS a financial counselor/master scheduler-EMT for the emergency room, NOW i am a CNA/scrub tech/er tech/tele tech/security guard( why the heck is it my responsibility to watch if the crazy folks get out?)/clerk/do everything person. There you have it, that is what i do at work.
I was dreading coming up to the 3rd floor. The 3rd floor is the med/surg floor of this hospital. Which means you will be swimming in poop and blood. Now keep in mind i came from the blessed bliss of babies being born to the awesome adrenaline of the ER........to....poop. Yup, poop.
Does anyone know what the substance Golytely(go-lightly) is? Let me tell you what this evil horrid mess of a substance is. Its a colonoscopy prep that makes you literally poop your brains out! Once you drink this evil juice you will then live life on the toilet until it all runs through your system.
Anyone ever do a colon cleanse? Yeah, its a million times worse!!! It will take everything in the GI tract and extract it through the anus into the toilet or sometimes in my experience, the bed, the wall, the tub and anywhere else you can think of. Its true people I have found poop on the ceiling and in the tub before.......GROSSS!!!
Why, for heavens sakes why?! Why cant these morons of people sit on the freaking toilet! Now...when you are given the stuff most nurses will WARN the patient that it might become explosive and to be very close to the bathroom or on the pot for the durration of poop expelling process. Why cant these numbskulls understand that? Because.....they want to watch people like me clean their shit? i dont get it. do people actually want their hynies wiped by disdainful,rage filled healthcare personell? Whats the fun in that?...not fun for me. Is it fun for the people being wiped?......dont answer that question.
What else is interesting in my line of work? Or rather, what else can I complain about? Oh yes, why do people become babies when they come into an inpatient setting in the hospital? I have seen grown men act like complete idiots when they have to have an IV placed. Its not that big of a deal!!! If you want to see a big deal ask for a 10 gage needle. Or better than that, ask for something thats actually a big deal like, get a bonesaw to amputate a limb. I guarantee a nurse can make it so much more painful in a fraction of a second.
Ive seen some really crazy stuff like gangrenous toes and various body parts, majorly infected stumps from amputation, explosive diarrhea, ive seen people vomit curdled blood and expell it from my favorite orrifice.....the rear end. Trust me, all the afformentioned infections and illnesses have a distinct pungeant odor that you do not want to have in your nose. Have you ever had anything actually sting your sinus cavity because it smelled so bad?
Ive seen and done some scary things. I had a lady squat right in front of me in the er lobby and pop out a baby in her pants. Ive seen people die. Ive done compressions on a person until i floated their stirnum and broke most of their ribs. i watched a nurse reach her hand into a woman up to her elbow to save a babys life. Crazy things happen all the time around here. I'll post some of the stories of the life and times at pioneer valley hospital later tonight if i get time.
happy reading!
work is work is work!
Hello to ya'll!!
Work is work. Hmmm, hard concept to grasp. No matter what I do I dont like it. The thought of being a stay at home mom is becoming ever increasingly tantalizing to me. No, no, no, its not that I cant take the work load, if anyone knows how I am I would get borred and go postal. Its just the fact that I would like to be with my family for once. I would like to see my husband more than a handful of days every month. I would like to be able to sleep a normal schedule and not feel exhausted all the time from lack of sleep. I would like to be able to take the time needed to get the housework done that desperately needs doing. And most of all I would like to be awake to see my kids and play with them. My poor children sit in the living room with me while I continuously nod away every morning until 10 or 11. The grave yards are reaking havoc on my body! Thank heaven for Nickelodeon and Noggin!!!
Ya know, kids are kids just once. I want to be conscious through their chilhood. I have tried to work the budget so many ways so I could stay home with my family but its just not possible right now. We just put an offer in to buy a house, so that will be even more money that isnt letting me stay home.
I dont think that its all work thats keeping me away from my family. I work full time, a funky schedule though, I work from 6pm to 6am/6 days in a row then 8 days off. It takes me all 8 days to recooperate. Then its right back to work. But thrown in the middle of all that is school. I cant get anything done anymore. Am I going crazy? I think the time of year is a bad time for me.......super stressed about anything and everything.
The point is that I just want to be able to sleep at night and be awake durring the day. But more than that, I want to be with my family. Why dont I feel like I'm ever with them?..........
work is work.
Work is work. Hmmm, hard concept to grasp. No matter what I do I dont like it. The thought of being a stay at home mom is becoming ever increasingly tantalizing to me. No, no, no, its not that I cant take the work load, if anyone knows how I am I would get borred and go postal. Its just the fact that I would like to be with my family for once. I would like to see my husband more than a handful of days every month. I would like to be able to sleep a normal schedule and not feel exhausted all the time from lack of sleep. I would like to be able to take the time needed to get the housework done that desperately needs doing. And most of all I would like to be awake to see my kids and play with them. My poor children sit in the living room with me while I continuously nod away every morning until 10 or 11. The grave yards are reaking havoc on my body! Thank heaven for Nickelodeon and Noggin!!!
Ya know, kids are kids just once. I want to be conscious through their chilhood. I have tried to work the budget so many ways so I could stay home with my family but its just not possible right now. We just put an offer in to buy a house, so that will be even more money that isnt letting me stay home.
I dont think that its all work thats keeping me away from my family. I work full time, a funky schedule though, I work from 6pm to 6am/6 days in a row then 8 days off. It takes me all 8 days to recooperate. Then its right back to work. But thrown in the middle of all that is school. I cant get anything done anymore. Am I going crazy? I think the time of year is a bad time for me.......super stressed about anything and everything.
The point is that I just want to be able to sleep at night and be awake durring the day. But more than that, I want to be with my family. Why dont I feel like I'm ever with them?..........
work is work.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
What!!! My pants arent a size 10?!!!
Hello to some that may read this!!
I was looking through a ladies blog about weight loss and I am kind of inspired. She did have a good idea though, to make a record of everything she did and ate while "preparing" for a diet. I think I am going to do the same thing.
Now keep in mind, I am not good at posting every day, not even once a week some times. But I am willing to stick to something and be determined about this weight loss thing. Its time Aerial! Get your butt going!!!
Ya know, I NEED to lose weight! Its getting to the point of being uncomfortable! Seriously uncomfortable!........I fear its effecting my health. Have you ever had your butt touch the small of your back? Yeah, its that disgusting guys! I dont even want to move around anymore I'm that uncomfortable. 2 words for the community out there. BUTT SHELF.
Here is how I know I am getting toooooo big!......It sucks to put my shoes on! What the heck, put your shoes on?....my belly got in the way of me tying my shoes! EWEEEE! If you know me, nothing gets in the way of my dirty shoe habit.
My boobs are choking me! Yes, my boobs in fact have gotten that big. Have you ever layed down and have to move your double chin out of the way of your giant bossom?.....I have. sucks.
No more denial about the subject for me. I am a size 22 and a hefty 200+ pound woman. I guess its time folks. Its time.
But I do need to write down and journal about my daily habits, which I have been highly analyzing for months now and just not done that much about it.
A few thoughts though. Can a person be addicted to fast food? I feel that I have a chemical dependancy on saturated fat. I get those cravings, where you dont think about anything else until you get it type cravings. Mine are usually about hamburgers. Delicious hamburgers. Delicious fattening, glistening in the sun hamburgers, like they fell down from heaven like mannah.
No way, hamburgers are the devil! Disguised in their filthy goodness.....FAT!!!
EEEVIIIIILLLLL(mermaid man)! Hamburger is thine name!
I was looking through a ladies blog about weight loss and I am kind of inspired. She did have a good idea though, to make a record of everything she did and ate while "preparing" for a diet. I think I am going to do the same thing.
Now keep in mind, I am not good at posting every day, not even once a week some times. But I am willing to stick to something and be determined about this weight loss thing. Its time Aerial! Get your butt going!!!
Ya know, I NEED to lose weight! Its getting to the point of being uncomfortable! Seriously uncomfortable!........I fear its effecting my health. Have you ever had your butt touch the small of your back? Yeah, its that disgusting guys! I dont even want to move around anymore I'm that uncomfortable. 2 words for the community out there. BUTT SHELF.
Here is how I know I am getting toooooo big!......It sucks to put my shoes on! What the heck, put your shoes on?....my belly got in the way of me tying my shoes! EWEEEE! If you know me, nothing gets in the way of my dirty shoe habit.
My boobs are choking me! Yes, my boobs in fact have gotten that big. Have you ever layed down and have to move your double chin out of the way of your giant bossom?.....I have. sucks.
No more denial about the subject for me. I am a size 22 and a hefty 200+ pound woman. I guess its time folks. Its time.
But I do need to write down and journal about my daily habits, which I have been highly analyzing for months now and just not done that much about it.
A few thoughts though. Can a person be addicted to fast food? I feel that I have a chemical dependancy on saturated fat. I get those cravings, where you dont think about anything else until you get it type cravings. Mine are usually about hamburgers. Delicious hamburgers. Delicious fattening, glistening in the sun hamburgers, like they fell down from heaven like mannah.
No way, hamburgers are the devil! Disguised in their filthy goodness.....FAT!!!
EEEVIIIIILLLLL(mermaid man)! Hamburger is thine name!
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