Hamburger remorse

Yes, there is such a thing as hamburger remorse. We went to Arctic Circle for food before I had to go to work today. By the way, Arctic Circle is so delicious! What is that sauce they put on the lucious patties? mmmm
Anyway, now I have hamburger remorse. I am remorseful, should I repent from this aweful dietary guilt? I should repent because we went to AC on a Sunday. I cant seem to help having those knock out cravings!!! uhhh
But it was sooo good. I even got it on my face. Imagine a chubby girl almost making love to this greasy deliciousness. Caressing the bun(haaa no punn intended), licking the dripping delectabilty from each finger like it was the end of something really good that was never going to happen again. It was pretty R rated in my mind. Oh Jay, if you were a hamburger we'd be in trouble!!!
It was calling to me with its sweet song. "Aerial(all etherial like), Aerial". Beckoning me to come hither. Glistening in its shiny glory. "Aerial, you know you want me." How could you refuse a talking delicious hamburger?
After it was all said and done there came the guilt. dun dun dun! Caught red handed like a child pocketing gum at the grocery store checkout. Wide-eyed and in horror I asked myself "what did you just do"? Did you actually relate eating a hamburger to sex, like some crazy addicted freak? Yes I did people. It was that good...............(glazed eyes, oh yeah).........
Anywho, back to the guilt. After wolfing down the fries,drink, and a brown topper w/ nuts I felt pretty guilty. I'm supposed to be on a diet.....kindof....... My throat got tight and I felt like I was going to barf. The sexy hamburger was now sitting at the bottom of my stomach like a rock. A sinful, dirty rock. Then I got to work and saw all the pretty bimbo nurses. You know, the bleached blonde, rock climbing, beautiful, educated woman--pretty nurses. How am I ever going to be a bleached blonde bimbo if I keep wolfing sexy food?
So now I have hamburger remorse.