As many of you know, I have been having a major conflict with career path.
A final decision has been made.
Per the situation of my family, I have decided to not go to "real college" at this time. Since I dont work constantly as it is( 1 week on 1 week off). I have decided that I would be happier if I was to get some training and do a job that wont stress me out.
The job I liked best was working for Sorenson Bioscience where I was basically a button pushing monkey. Man, I loved that job!!! I need to seek employment where I can get go home without taking the job with me.
Anywho, my choice is to stay where I am and to go to SLATC to get some training to be a medical assistant.......a medical monkey :)
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
guess what we got!!!
Guess what we got!!!.......
A Dachshund! AKA a weiner dog! Ahhhh! He's so cute!!!
We named him Crispy. Well, Gage named him Crispy. We were going to get the dog for Gage-o's b-day but I wanted THAT dog and wasnt sure if he would last another week without someone else buying him....so we got him!!
He's proving to be our third child. He's not housetrained and we're having a hard time getting him to stop "going" on the carpet. The best cleaner for pet stains and other stains in carpet is Fantastik, its an all purpose cleaner. I tend to use it in the kitchen but its VERY good at cleaning carpet!
This will be my first dog ever. Its frustrating and fun. I am feeling so guilty that he had to be in his crate for a long time tonight while the kids went to my moms to sleep and Jay and I worked. Poor Crispy. I hope he doesnt wake up with poop and pee all over him.
Anyone have any good ideas about training dogs?......I'm also mortified that my house is going to smell like one of those "dog houses". So I have been insesantly cleaning today.
A Dachshund! AKA a weiner dog! Ahhhh! He's so cute!!!
We named him Crispy. Well, Gage named him Crispy. We were going to get the dog for Gage-o's b-day but I wanted THAT dog and wasnt sure if he would last another week without someone else buying him....so we got him!!
He's proving to be our third child. He's not housetrained and we're having a hard time getting him to stop "going" on the carpet. The best cleaner for pet stains and other stains in carpet is Fantastik, its an all purpose cleaner. I tend to use it in the kitchen but its VERY good at cleaning carpet!
This will be my first dog ever. Its frustrating and fun. I am feeling so guilty that he had to be in his crate for a long time tonight while the kids went to my moms to sleep and Jay and I worked. Poor Crispy. I hope he doesnt wake up with poop and pee all over him.
Anyone have any good ideas about training dogs?......I'm also mortified that my house is going to smell like one of those "dog houses". So I have been insesantly cleaning today.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
front butt!!!
Ok, this is what happens when you get fat. A brutal account of the daily struggles.
First, we have to talk about the biology of "fatness" then we'll get to the "juicies". So when you accumulate fat....you get bigger. Wallaa! Thats the biology.
All too often I have the opportunity to bathe fat people. I would like to state for the record that if I have to be 300 lbs. I would rather be a man than a woman. Would you like to know why?
This is why. There is a thing called "front butt" this usually happens when a woman has had a vertical c-section or open bowel surgery and then gets fat. I unfortunately have acquired a massive pooch. It still fits into pants but now there are 2 DISTINCT sections of chubby love hanging from my midsection. The upper roll, and the.....pooch. Ughhh a pooch. I have, luckily, not accumulated "front butt". But I have seen alot of them. It seriously looks like a butt!!!....on the front!
Secondly, it most certainly sucks to feel yourself jiggle. I felt my belly jiggle as I was doing something at work. I dont even remember what I was doing but I DID remember my belly jiggle. I shuddered in disgust. What is this grotesque protuberance jutting out from my 6 pack!?! And how did it get here so fast!?! Oh yeah, I remember, I'm fat now. Thats what this is! Belly jiggle....kinda funny, but not a good thing.
Most of you have heard me talk about the butt shelf. Thats exactly what it is. Its now a place to store drinks and snacks. I guess getting fat has its advantages. I'm now more organized, a walking snack shop. "Sure little boy, youd like the nutterbutters?" as I reach behind to unfasten the safely secured goodies from the buttshelf. See its handy!...maybe not sanitary but you get the drift...
Oh man, getting fat stinks!!! Literally, I have only started to have this problem but I can only imagine the crustiness of the REALLY big.(like 500 lbs or more). I realized that my armpits are fat!!! ARMPITS!!! Yes, the armpits! There are only 2 letters for this problem and they are "B" and "O". I havent had the other stinky problems but here they are. For your enjoyment. When the big big people come to the hospital we usually bathe them or try to get everyone in the shower so they dont stink, and we can stand to be around them(this goes for skinny folk too). But I have noticed that alot of older big women get yeast infection in between the front butt and their legs. Which emits a foul and distinct odor when exposed. This proposes a problem from bather to bathee. Its always an awkward convo when the bather asks the bathee to hold up their front butt so we can go deep sea diving the cavern of no return. Armed with mask, soap, and an industrial power washer we must dive in. Its a humanitarian mission really. No wait, we do it komakazee style here! In and out as quickly as possible!
Thats the most common odor of my people(the emberassingly fat). When I get sooo fat that I have to have a back scratcher with toilet paper on the end to wipe my rear I want to be shot!
Another suckish thing about being fat is that it makes things awkward. You have to think about things in a whole different way.......
Chunky love for example is different than skinny love. Now I have to watch out so I dont give myself a black eye......this also is a concern when running, dont know why because running just isnt my thing anymore. So I guess when running I would have to get an industrial sports bra to prevent occular injuries......wow, that would be one giant uni-boob!
So, we've covered fatty smells, chunky love injuries, butt shelfs, and what else?
Hmmmm
Oh yes, I would rather be a man because they dont have to deal with gigante pechos that give them back aches 'cause these suckers weigh 10 lbs a piece!!! And because they dont have to get front butt....usually they just end up scratching theirs off by the time theyre old.
First, we have to talk about the biology of "fatness" then we'll get to the "juicies". So when you accumulate fat....you get bigger. Wallaa! Thats the biology.
All too often I have the opportunity to bathe fat people. I would like to state for the record that if I have to be 300 lbs. I would rather be a man than a woman. Would you like to know why?
This is why. There is a thing called "front butt" this usually happens when a woman has had a vertical c-section or open bowel surgery and then gets fat. I unfortunately have acquired a massive pooch. It still fits into pants but now there are 2 DISTINCT sections of chubby love hanging from my midsection. The upper roll, and the.....pooch. Ughhh a pooch. I have, luckily, not accumulated "front butt". But I have seen alot of them. It seriously looks like a butt!!!....on the front!
Secondly, it most certainly sucks to feel yourself jiggle. I felt my belly jiggle as I was doing something at work. I dont even remember what I was doing but I DID remember my belly jiggle. I shuddered in disgust. What is this grotesque protuberance jutting out from my 6 pack!?! And how did it get here so fast!?! Oh yeah, I remember, I'm fat now. Thats what this is! Belly jiggle....kinda funny, but not a good thing.
Most of you have heard me talk about the butt shelf. Thats exactly what it is. Its now a place to store drinks and snacks. I guess getting fat has its advantages. I'm now more organized, a walking snack shop. "Sure little boy, youd like the nutterbutters?" as I reach behind to unfasten the safely secured goodies from the buttshelf. See its handy!...maybe not sanitary but you get the drift...
Oh man, getting fat stinks!!! Literally, I have only started to have this problem but I can only imagine the crustiness of the REALLY big.(like 500 lbs or more). I realized that my armpits are fat!!! ARMPITS!!! Yes, the armpits! There are only 2 letters for this problem and they are "B" and "O". I havent had the other stinky problems but here they are. For your enjoyment. When the big big people come to the hospital we usually bathe them or try to get everyone in the shower so they dont stink, and we can stand to be around them(this goes for skinny folk too). But I have noticed that alot of older big women get yeast infection in between the front butt and their legs. Which emits a foul and distinct odor when exposed. This proposes a problem from bather to bathee. Its always an awkward convo when the bather asks the bathee to hold up their front butt so we can go deep sea diving the cavern of no return. Armed with mask, soap, and an industrial power washer we must dive in. Its a humanitarian mission really. No wait, we do it komakazee style here! In and out as quickly as possible!
Thats the most common odor of my people(the emberassingly fat). When I get sooo fat that I have to have a back scratcher with toilet paper on the end to wipe my rear I want to be shot!
Another suckish thing about being fat is that it makes things awkward. You have to think about things in a whole different way.......
Chunky love for example is different than skinny love. Now I have to watch out so I dont give myself a black eye......this also is a concern when running, dont know why because running just isnt my thing anymore. So I guess when running I would have to get an industrial sports bra to prevent occular injuries......wow, that would be one giant uni-boob!
So, we've covered fatty smells, chunky love injuries, butt shelfs, and what else?
Hmmmm
Oh yes, I would rather be a man because they dont have to deal with gigante pechos that give them back aches 'cause these suckers weigh 10 lbs a piece!!! And because they dont have to get front butt....usually they just end up scratching theirs off by the time theyre old.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Isnt it funny.....
Isnt it funny how life changes when you become a mother? Its like nothing else matters when you have children. Considering the recent events in my life I discovered something new about myself. Jay wanted me to go home to shower and get some rest after Keltys surgery. Now, I would never go against my husband in any way unless, completely warranted but......at that moment in time, with my child that survived a very risky surgery I was not going to leave her. No one was going to make me leave my baby. I felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do. No one that could help. Not even Jay.
You hear about those mothers that can lift cars off their children and super amazing feats of craziness when it comes to a hurt child or something like that. I get it, I've felt that before. I feel like I could could do something like that if in the right situation. But this one was....different.
We had spent some time with Kelty in the PICU and then it was time to leave. I felt like I could leave for a second but I deffinately didnt want to go anywhere for too long...you know, just in case.
So Jay came in and asked me to go home with him. It was like the only string that had been holding me together...snapped. It snapped like the last thread of an unraveling rope. And I crumbled right there. I am usually very emotional....inside. I HATE crying in front of people. If I could have sobbed the whole day, I would have. But there were too many people around. And in that moment I was MAD! Jay was asking me to go home out of an act of love and kindness. I comprehended that was the best thing to do but I didnt want to. My actions were a little disturbing in the crumbling emotion. I utterly refused. It was an act of deffiance to Jay. I had no intention of making him mad, which he wasnt. But it was a standoff between Jay and I at her bedside. I dont believe I have ever refused to do anything for my husband, I dont think I have ever told him no before when he has asked me to do something. But I looked him right in the eye and said "I am NOT leaving!" And we stood there for a couple seconds trying to see what the other would do. After that all I could do was cry into his chest.
This so called "stand off" was the last ounce of courage I had. I was angry, sad and all the other emotions rolled up into one big ball of Aerial. If I was going to go home, all I wanted to do there was be by myself!!! And of course, that wasnt going to happen. But now I'm grateful for everyone that helped.
But isnt it funny, when it comes to your kids what things happen. Theres no telling what a "mama bear" will do.
You hear about those mothers that can lift cars off their children and super amazing feats of craziness when it comes to a hurt child or something like that. I get it, I've felt that before. I feel like I could could do something like that if in the right situation. But this one was....different.
We had spent some time with Kelty in the PICU and then it was time to leave. I felt like I could leave for a second but I deffinately didnt want to go anywhere for too long...you know, just in case.
So Jay came in and asked me to go home with him. It was like the only string that had been holding me together...snapped. It snapped like the last thread of an unraveling rope. And I crumbled right there. I am usually very emotional....inside. I HATE crying in front of people. If I could have sobbed the whole day, I would have. But there were too many people around. And in that moment I was MAD! Jay was asking me to go home out of an act of love and kindness. I comprehended that was the best thing to do but I didnt want to. My actions were a little disturbing in the crumbling emotion. I utterly refused. It was an act of deffiance to Jay. I had no intention of making him mad, which he wasnt. But it was a standoff between Jay and I at her bedside. I dont believe I have ever refused to do anything for my husband, I dont think I have ever told him no before when he has asked me to do something. But I looked him right in the eye and said "I am NOT leaving!" And we stood there for a couple seconds trying to see what the other would do. After that all I could do was cry into his chest.
This so called "stand off" was the last ounce of courage I had. I was angry, sad and all the other emotions rolled up into one big ball of Aerial. If I was going to go home, all I wanted to do there was be by myself!!! And of course, that wasnt going to happen. But now I'm grateful for everyone that helped.
But isnt it funny, when it comes to your kids what things happen. Theres no telling what a "mama bear" will do.
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