I am not a push over by any means of the word. But I do change my mind alot!!! My poor Jay has to deal with my "flakiness" on a daily manner, and I'm sure it isnt fun for him. I just cant make up my mind.....about anything anymore.
Just a little preface to this blogs subject. I have an anxiety disorder and dont deal with it in a healthy way....all the time. Sometimes I just let it go and wig-the-freak-out! I havent had a melt down in about a year. But I have started having panic attacks more frequently lately.
Anyway, I just recently found out what I want to be when I grow up. Actually I've known for a long time but have had some life experiences that have put a kink in the "Aerial master plan". When I was in high school all my friends wanted to be nurses. I wanted to be a teacher. It got flipped around for a while. I am thinking that I am quitting nursing school and going in education now, seriously. SERIOUSLY!!!
I wrote this big long blog about how I have found my passion and to follow your bliss, blah blah blah. Then I went back to wanting to be a nurse for a month or so, now I am back to wanting to be a teacher. What is wrong with me?
I know exactly whats wrong with me. The money is alluring, very very enticing. If I have done my homework correctly, a teacher makes about 32,000 a year........well, a nurse right out of school with only an associates degree makes about 45,000-50,000. Thats a big gap! Plus, to be teacher, I have to get my bachelors instead of being done with an associates. uhhh the money is soooo tempting.
But here's the problem my friends. I would not make a good nurse. I would be able to make myself into a good nurse but its not a natural thing to me. Also, I am getting so sick of working nights and weekends. I hate working graveyards and holidays.
This nursing stuff totally stresses me out. I think I have become so numb to the fact that I dont really enjoy this and I'm masking how I truly feel is where the panic attacks are coming into play. This job is a constant state of stress and anxiety for me. At any moment something bad could happen, someone could not like the care you give them and tell the boss. Then you get the phone call for a totally stupid thing,like not rubbing someones dirty gross feet. Yessss, people have asked me to rub their feet and put lotion on their icky backs and stuff. eweee!
Dont get me wrong, this J-O-B has its good things too. There is nothing like someone sincerely thanking you for making their life a little better. That seems to keep me going.
Well, enough complaining from me. I have changed my major, almost officially. I just have to go to school and do it with the college. But here I go again, back to being a teacher. Its really the best thing for me and my family. Its no money, barely even a pay raise for 3 more years of school but the rewards will be great, i just know it.
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A job you would love, doing something you would love is totally worth the missing money. What do you get with nursing? Maybe a few people's thanks, but the stress, the anxiety, the missing holidays and moments with your family, maybe health concerns because of lifting or coming into contact with illnesses, panic attacks..
ReplyDeleteI think teaching has the opportunity to change a lot more lives. Be the kind of great teacher that gives hope and promise to the kids that others give up on. Totally worth the missing money. You go for it!
Also.. I didn't know you had a secret passion for teaching in HS.. but I never wanted to be a nurse. In fact, the only thing I have ALWAYS known about any possible future career paths for me was it would never be in any medical field. It's too sad, tough and bloody for me! Kudos to you for sticking it out as much as you have!
wow! thanks andrea! I did want to be a teacher in high school....maybe karma is telling me to go back because I sluffed so much;)....anywho, thanks for the comments I love it!!!
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